Category Archives: Anxiety

28Nov 2012

Is this Really a Problem?

I was so frustrated! Are you kidding me? Traffic was lined up as far as I could see and I had a client in just a few short minutes. I’m not one to like to be late for appointments, particularly when running my practice. The thought of a client wasting their valuable time in my waiting room gets under my skin. Traffic? This is a PROBLEM!

As I sat and griped and moaned to myself, my mind slowly went back to a moment at a conference a few days prior. The speaker’s exact words that struck through my heart like a bow and arrow were as follows:

If you have a home, have food to eat, a job, and transportation to get there, you are among the top 15% of the wealthiest people of the world!”

Wow! I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never considered myself wealthy. Blessed but not wealthy.

A few days later, I was reading a book by Jim Martin from the International Justice Mission. He was talking about modern day slavery, sex trafficking, and the horrible abuse that goes on in our world. He talked about how we see our issues as problems but “they are mostly frustrations and annoyances” when it comes right down to it. So true. Losing my cell phone? Inconvenience. Stuck in traffic? Frustration. Slavery? Now THAT’S a problem!

I’m not trying to minimize the problems that some people are struggling with. Divorce, the loss of family and friends, job loss, abuse are true problems as well. But I am talking about some of the things we consider problems that are really just annoyances, frustrations, and/or inconveniences. The barista at Starbucks messed up our order so we have a bad morning. We get a little wet from the rain so we gripe and moan about going to work a little soggy. These are NOT problems!

When I was sitting in that traffic, I realized that it wasn’t a problem but rather a frustration or annoyance. I would still have a job to go to (with forgiving clients!), lunch today, and a place to lay my tired body tonight.

I have been reminding myself of this DAILY. When I feel the stress of a “problem” I ask myself “Is this really a problem? Or am I just frustrated, annoyed, or inconvenienced”.

Try it! It will really put things into perspective for you.

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC, LCAC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

06Jun 2012

Do Our Fears Actually Happen?

It is amazing how HUGE fear is for so many people. Many of us make decisions, assumptions, and mountains out of molehills due to fear. We create monsters in our heads about what we think “might” happen, convincing ourselves it will be so.

Think about it- what anxiety have you experienced today? Was it over a fear? I bet it was.

I get caught it the same trap. A few weeks back, my BFF and I decided we wanted to do a “for your health” detox. We wanted to work on ridding our bodies of the things that are not good for us: sugar, flour, gluten…all those no no’s that we fill our body with. We wanted to do it for our health but also to see how we would feel.

Our anxiety started rising as we started thinking about what life would be like without sugar. Not just desserts but how it is in everything! We started reading labels and realized we would be without salad dressing, cereals we enjoy, and even our “healthy” snacks were full of it! Starbucks would be a no-no (tears…) We finally set a date and began counting down the days. We said good-bye to our yummy tummy filling friends. Ok, we were being little dramatic here…ok.. A LOT dramatic!

As we started the detox, the first day wasn’t too fun. We felt tired and had cravings. But we noticed by day 3 we were feeling good. Actually had a little energy and felt better. We soon realized that we had worried about nothing. Something good was actually happening. The negative that was going into our bodies was now being replaced with more mindful and positive foods. We were fine! We COULD live without that junk (not that we want too!) We had spent 3 weeks fearful of 10 days that were fine! Needless time and energy- wasted on nothing.

This made me think about how much we worry about that doesn’t actually happen. Did you know 92% of what we worry about never happens? And the 8% is rarely as bad as we thought it would be!

I truly believe this statistic. When I think about what I worry about, it rarely happens.

The next time you start worrying about something or being fearful- remind yourself- 92% and tell yourself you will worry about that later! Statistics show it probably won’t happen anyway!

Thank you for reading and have a fearless week!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

22Feb 2012

Laughter Really Is Good Medicine!

“Laughter is like internal jogging! In many ways as good as physical exercise.”
Joyce Meyer

I LOVE to laugh. Those of you who know me, work with me (as clients or co-workers), or if you have walked by my office door- You know I like to laugh. Tamara and I learned a lot in Graduate School. However, one thing we learned was how to laugh and not get caught! (Sorry professors! Look at us now- we really were listening! Just having fun doing it!)

Have you ever noticed how you feel right after a good laugh? You feel relaxed and calm. There are reasons for this and great reasons to let yourself laugh! Here are just a few of the many reasons to let the laughter flow:

1. It increases our blood flow, which is great for everything in your body.

2. It lowers cortisol and adrenaline, which are stress hormones we release when we are stressed about something. Accessive stress hormones can cause many problems, including depression.

3. It stretches your muscles. In fact, many “stretch” this to say it gives you the same feelings as a mild workout.

4. It increases your immune system, which helps us fight off sickness and disease.

5. When we learn to laugh at ourselves, we don’t take everything so seriously.

There are MANY reasons to laugh. But these are the most important. I believe a great sense of humor plus a positive attitude can change your day from a bad day to a good one. It can make a heavy, difficult marriage feel a little lighter. It can change the nasty attitude your child may wake up with into a little kid who can’t quit smiling. And it can make all of us healthier and happier people.

Try to think of some ways to add laughter in your life. Watch a funny sitcom before going to bed, to relax your body. Sit with a friend and laugh at old pictures! Read a joke book and share some tasteful ones with someone. Play tag with your kids and watch them laugh (it’s contagious!) Make it intentional and it will become more natural.

Thank you for reading and have a humor-filled day!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

25Jan 2012

HALT

Have you ever heard the acronym HALT? It is a great tool to use when you are struggling and aren’t sure where it’s coming from. It could be as simple as just feeling “off” for a day or two. Or it could be an evening where you just feel like crying and you don’t know why. Basically, with HALT, you ask yourself the following questions:

Am I…
Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?

Hungry
We all know when we get too hungry we can get cranky and easily upset. This actually is a biological response. Usually our blood sugar is getting low and this causes us to not feel well, have poor concentration, and sometimes impatience.

Angry
When we are angry about something or with someone we can feel easily irritated or irritable. Many times we may be angry and don’t even realize it. It could be something that happened a week ago that we are still holding onto. So it’s important when nothing is specifically wrong, but we are feeling bad, to ask ourselves if we are angry about something.

Lonely
We were all created for relationship and if we isolate ourselves this can lead to depression. It’s important to try to schedule some things with people we enjoy to be with. If we don’t, many times we can feel down or blue and again, not know why. So check in to see if you are isolating yourself.

Tired
How many of us can see our motivation levels go down, our tolerance for any type of pain or inconvenience go up, and our moods slide when we are tired? Sleep is so important to keep your mood elevated. Sometimes, if we haven’t been getting enough rest, a good nap can elevate our moods and lift our spirits. A sudden burst of energy can come from even a 15 minute nap. Don’t underestimate the power of sleep. It is a natural way to restore our bodies.

This seems so simple- it is!! If you are ever down and not sure why, this is a great tool to use. However, if you can’t seem to get thru it and your Depression seems severe, it is important to seek help. Obviously, at times, there can be more going on than just being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

Thank you for reading. I hope this tool will be a great one to pull out of your mental health tool box in the future. Have a great week!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

30Mar 2011

Are you Numb?

It’s amazing what we can become numb to. When we first get sick or develop some sort of problem, it can feel so painful or irritating. But after time, our bodies adjust and although it may still feel painful, the intensity may wear down. Not in all cases but in some. I am often amazed when I see someone who is in a wheelchair- what once probably felt like the end of the world has now become a part of their life and they are able to deal with it so efficiently and make it work. I am in awe of that, as I complain about my small inconveniences from day to day. I’m sure when they first became disabled they never imagined they would one day be able to handle it the way they do now. They are somewhat forced to become numb to it.

I do believe this is something God gave us to be able to cope with some of our challenges in life. However, I see the other side of this all too often. I see people who are in a horrible marriage and have become numb to it. They say, “This is just how life is, right? My parents were like this and now we are.” Numb. I see women who have been struggling with Depression for so long, raising their little ones and providing for their families, they have become numb to the deep sadness and pain on the inside. Numb. I see men who struggle with their lack of connection to others and who have lost a sense of adventure in their lives, just going day in and day out at a job with little purpose or enjoyment to them. Numb. I see men and women who were sexually abused as children. They HAD to numb themselves when they were little to keep the “secret” they swore they would never tell. They now numb themselves with drugs, alcohol, rage, control, sex, relationships, or food. Numb.

It’s so sad that this defense mechanism that God gave us to help ourselves cope has now become a way of life for so many. The problem is, when you numb out to the bad emotions, you also numb out to the good ones, too. If you numb yourself to sadness, it will be difficult to feel happiness when it comes along. Your body can’t decipher the two- it just numbs itself all over. It’s like when you go to the dentist to get a cavity filled. When they give you a shot your whole mouth becomes numb, not just the area they will be working on. This happens with our emotions as well.

When clients come in to our office, we encourage them to quit numbing themselves and give themselves permission to feel. Feel it all, good and bad. We teach them how to cope with the bad and learn to really feel and experience the joy and happiness that comes from the freedom of not living numb! It is so amazing to watch the unveiling of this. It is beautiful and we are honored to be a part of this process.

I want to challenge you today- Do you live your life numb? Or do you really experience your life both good and bad. Do you see how the “bad” or difficult can make you stronger and better? It can help you experience the “good” and wonderful at an even higher level!

Thank you for reading today- I wish you the best!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.