Category Archives: Parenting

15Aug 2012

Seize the Moment- The Best You Can!

Going back to school- It seems this phrase ignites different emotions for different people. For some kids it’s “bllaaahh!” and for others it’s “yaaay!”. For some parents it creates a leap of joy in the air and for others it is a reminder of how fast time is flying and slipping thru our hands.

Me? I have a big lump in my throat. I promised my 2nd grader I wouldn’t cry as he got on the bus today (as I watched him hold back a tear or two!) I saw the parents of the Kindergartners, who actually have permission to cry, hold back their tears.

So why was I, the mother of a 2nd grader, on the verge of a breakdown? I should be a pro at this by now! Then it hit me- it’s all a reminder of how quickly time is passing. I don’t know about you but I feel like I am trying to keep the sand from going down the hourglass of time! I try to put the little pieces back in one at a time, only to have 5000 drop in the meantime.

Wasn’t it just yesterday my child was……

Maybe you don’t have kids and you are amazed at how quickly time is passing in your marriage. You thought for sure at your 5th Anniversary you would be…..

Or maybe you are still single and you just can’t believe how quickly 10 years have passed since you graduated college. You knew without a doubt your career would be……

We all are amazed at how quickly time passes and even surprised at where or what we thought would be happening.

There is a point to this- it’s simple- just a little reminder. Every day, hour, minute, second is passing us by. It’s unrealistic to say, “I’m going to embrace every moment and live every day like it’s my last” (come on, we gotta work and go on with life!) But we can embrace the little things. Don’t let the small joys of life pass you by. Try not to just drudge thru the day so you wake up 10 years later, well, realizing it’s 10 years later. Don’t look up at your 18 year-old going off to college and regreting that you didn’t spend enough time with them.

Truly seize today- the best you can! Do something today to take it all in. We are blessed to have what we have and live how we live. Each of us. Take in the moment before it slips away.

Thank you for taking this moment today and reading. I hope you have a great day and seize one moment today.

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

12Jul 2012

Take a Break Today (or look like a chicken with it’s head cut off!)

If you would have seen me this weekend you would not have recognized me. I looked like a chicken with my head cut off! Feathers flying, cackling, and probably a bit of shed blood if you ask my family.

I won’t even go into what all I was doing. Let’s just say daughter’s birthday weekend, family in town, and the house desperately needed cleaning. What ends up happening to me? Within 5 days I have 2 migraines. Hmmm….body’s trying to tell me something,

A friend shares with me some health problems and how she is suppose to rest. She doesn’t and they become worse. I politely can’t keep my mouth shut and say, “You think your body is trying to tell you something? Or maybe God is speaking :) ?” Hmmm…did you just hear the words coming out of your mouth, Nat?

One of my devotionals is about being weary (oh yes, preach it Joyce! I am sooo weary!) She talks about God helping the weary but we need to be doing our part, too (getting rest, eating well etc). Hmmm…she might be trying to tell me something.

I just keep on keeping on. I get up today and do the same break-neck pace. (Yes, us Therapist need a little whack on the head sometimes to get things thru to us, too!)

So here comes my much needed whack- typically I love writing my blogs so much that I eat my lunch while I do them. THAT is my break, right? Because I love it- it’s considered a break. But I know deep down, my body and mind don’t feel the break because they are working and I am mindlessly eating. But I do it anyway because….well, I just do.

Today, however, I look down at my ipad and see I am almost out of battery! NOOOOOOOO! My blog! What will I do? I stopped, yes stopped. And. finally. got it. Somebody was trying to tell me something!

And you know, my natural instinct thought of 50 other things I needed to get done. But I finally got the whack. I packed up my lunch and headed outdoors. I had a picnic outside.

Can I tell you how much better my food tasted out there? I think that was the best peach I have ever eaten. The breeze was wonderful and the birds serenaded me! The sun warmed me up from my frigid office. And do you know what else happened?? My mind cleared enough that I actually thought of a blog topic! This one right here. Wow, there’s a thought- you clear your mind and you get some thoughts.

Obviously I’m having a good time poking fun at myself today. I do think it’s funny how God uses things to stop us. He starts with a little nudge and finally ends with a whack. I’m grateful for my whack today.

We all need a break. We don’t do these anymore. Even our “breaks” are full of phones, computers, texting, and whatever else we can use to distract ourselves.

I want to encourage you today to take a break. See what good can come from it.

How will you take a break today?

P.S. Can you have a P.S. in a blog? I think I will start that trend today! :) So I wrote this blog 2 weeks ago. Apparently I needed more than a 30 minute break. I just realized I never posted it! Even when my Dad said to me last week, “I think somethings wrong with my email. I haven’t received one of your blogs in a couple weeks,” I never thought it could be my problem! So if you are planning a break after reading this, add another 30 minutes. You deserve it, and frankly, probably need it.

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

13Jun 2012

Happy Father’s Day- A Tribute to My Dad

Father’s Day brings up a lot of emotion for many people. Every year, I feel sadness for my Best Friend who lost her Father to cancer 9 years ago. I know it’s a hard day for her. Many of my clients feel hurt, betrayed, unloved, and abandoned by their Fathers. My heart goes out to them as well.

I have always appreciated and loved my Dad, but I think because I see how much pain the loss of a Father can bring, I appreciate him even more.

Today I want to honor my Dad because of the wonderful person he is. I honestly do not know a more kind and loving person. I was blessed to have many positive memories of my life growing up with him that have fostered into a friendship now as adults. I remember him playing wrestling with the 3 of us, which is funny because we are all girls. But he would get on the floor and tickle and wrestle us as we laughed and giggled till our bellies hurt. He would go out in the yard and throw the softball with us. He taught me how to swim and to ride a bike. My Dad worked in a factory, often double shifts, so I know he had to have been tired. Sometimes when I am worn out from work and want to just “sit” when I get home, I think of my Dad in that hot factory with long hours. I somehow muster up the energy to play “Tickle Monster” with my little ones!

My Dad was a very understanding Father. He loved and still loves each of us unconditionally. I’ll never forget when I was a teen, I had some issues I was struggling with that I was afraid to tell him about. I was so fearful of how disappointed he would be in me and how maybe he would think differently of me. However, I never once doubted he would still love me. When I ended up telling him and my Mom about my issues, they both immediately started helping me get the help I needed. They did not shame me or yell at me. They just showed me unconditional love.

The most important thing my Dad modeled for me was his Faith. My Dad has unbelievable Faith! He showed this in his life and in our family over and over and over again. I remember seeing him rise early before he had to leave to work (and the factories start early you know!). He would be at our table, praying and reading his Bible. I know that took a lot of discipline and dedication, yet he always seemed to be enjoying it. He is a man of prayer and I really appreciate that!

It is so fun to see my Dad now being an awesome “Papaw” to my kids. They think the sun rises and sets because of him! Even though his back is sore, he’s worn out, and beat down from life sometimes, he still wrestles with them almost every time they ask him (and that’s a lot!). He takes time to teach them about life and piggyback the values and morals we are trying desperately to teach.

I know every person has their faults. My Dad admittedly has them. But it seems we hear so much negative about Fathers, I wanted to remind people there are good ones out there also! Thank you for letting me brag on mine for a moment. And Dad, thank you for being you and being the best Dad a kid could ever ask for. I love you!

For every Father out there, I want to wish you a wonderful Father’s Day. Being a Father is the most important privilege you will ever have. I honor you and respect you for the huge task you are given. Thank you for reading!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

09May 2012

Happy Mother’s Day- A Tribute to My Mom

I know that Mother’s Day evokes many emotions for people- some good and unfortunately, some bad. My heart goes out to those who struggle with this day. Whether it be because your relationship with your Mom is strained, your Mother has passed away, or because you grieve wanting to BE a Mom. It can be a difficult day.

For me, this brings positive emotion. I was blessed to have a Mom who I can now call “friend” as an adult.

I was the youngest of three girls, so by the time I was old enough to remember, my Mom had to go back to work. I now realize the demands of a Mom, let alone a working Mom. I don’t know how she did it but I always had a clean towel, clean underwear, and a warm meal. All of those things go unnoticed and unappreciated as a kid. They are treasured now.

I also remember sometimes feeling lonely because my older sisters would be off doing something with older kids. My Mom would sit down with me and play my favorite game, “Holly Hobbie’s Wishing Well”. What an interruption to her busy day this must have been. But I would have never known. She acted like it was all she had to do that day! What a treat for me.

If I had to sum up my Mom in 2 words it would be “servant’s heart”. My Mom is very busy yet always takes time to help out at her church, to take dinner to a sick friend (or even a stranger for that matter), and is always available to help me when I ask. She is in her late 60′s and still works full time, yet still uses her spare time serving others. Last week, my Mom knew I was preparing for a tough weekend. I had a graduation on Friday eve, the mini marathon on Saturday, and my son’s birthday party on Sunday! She asked how she could help but my independent self couldn’t think of anything. As I got home at 10pm Thursday night, the first thing I saw was our laundry room.- it was a reminder of all the laundry waiting to be carried downstairs and washed. I wanted to throw up- literally. I didn’t know how I would ever get all our laundry done! As I went to everyone’s room to “gather” my husband hollered upstairs, “Your Mom took all the kids laundry home and will do it for you!” Oh Wow! I can’t express the burden lifted from me. I couldn’t WAIT to call and thank her!! This is who she is- a servant- someone who will help even if you don’t ask. Someone who will do the little, yucky things like clean your kids nasty underwear, knowing she won’t be glorified or acknowledged by anyone but me. I am grateful for the example she set for me.

I can’t express my undying gratitude to her for these things. I pray many blessings on my Mom and I know God has a special place in heaven for her. Thank you, Mom! Love you!!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

27Mar 2012

Re-Charge Your Relationship Battery!

This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary! (Yayy! Thank you- I hear the cheers!):) We had a great time, spending it with just the two of us. We had uninterrupted conversations (a commodity), great food (2 date nights!), sleep, and yes, of course some Sweet 16 basketball and shopping (every relationship needs compromise!!)

When we have these weekends together, we are reminded of what made us fall in love and how much fun we used to have dating. It was before kids, bills, serious careers, and curve balls that life threw at us. It’s so easy, even in a good relationship, to let life get in the way and make those memories fade.

That’s why it’s so important to make these times happen and recharge the relationship battery! It doesn’t just “happen” either. It takes some planning on both partners parts and usually some major problem solving. I literally felt like I had to move mountains to make this weekend happen. There was so much to figure out- childcare, finances, schedules etc. It wasn’t easy. But if you can get creative, be flexible, and think outside of the box- it can happen!

I preach this all the time to my clients. I must confess, since my last child was born 21 months ago, I have let this slide. But after this weekend, I am reminded of its importance and am committed to not letting it go this long again.

I’m sure if you reading this and are not in a marriage, I have lost you by now. But if not, I want you to think about your relationships- friendships, family, your kids. What could you do to recharge those batteries as well? Have a cellphone free day with the kids and take them to the park! Spend the day shopping with your Mom. Or hey, what about your relationship with yourself? You could use a day in the park, on a blanket, reading a book. Or a day at the spa would feed your soul!

We are all in relationships and they all can use a re-charge! I’m so grateful I recharged mine this weekend. What can you do to recharge yours today?

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville