Category Archives: Depression

25Jan 2012

HALT

Have you ever heard the acronym HALT? It is a great tool to use when you are struggling and aren’t sure where it’s coming from. It could be as simple as just feeling “off” for a day or two. Or it could be an evening where you just feel like crying and you don’t know why. Basically, with HALT, you ask yourself the following questions:

Am I…
Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?

Hungry
We all know when we get too hungry we can get cranky and easily upset. This actually is a biological response. Usually our blood sugar is getting low and this causes us to not feel well, have poor concentration, and sometimes impatience.

Angry
When we are angry about something or with someone we can feel easily irritated or irritable. Many times we may be angry and don’t even realize it. It could be something that happened a week ago that we are still holding onto. So it’s important when nothing is specifically wrong, but we are feeling bad, to ask ourselves if we are angry about something.

Lonely
We were all created for relationship and if we isolate ourselves this can lead to depression. It’s important to try to schedule some things with people we enjoy to be with. If we don’t, many times we can feel down or blue and again, not know why. So check in to see if you are isolating yourself.

Tired
How many of us can see our motivation levels go down, our tolerance for any type of pain or inconvenience go up, and our moods slide when we are tired? Sleep is so important to keep your mood elevated. Sometimes, if we haven’t been getting enough rest, a good nap can elevate our moods and lift our spirits. A sudden burst of energy can come from even a 15 minute nap. Don’t underestimate the power of sleep. It is a natural way to restore our bodies.

This seems so simple- it is!! If you are ever down and not sure why, this is a great tool to use. However, if you can’t seem to get thru it and your Depression seems severe, it is important to seek help. Obviously, at times, there can be more going on than just being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

Thank you for reading. I hope this tool will be a great one to pull out of your mental health tool box in the future. Have a great week!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

30Mar 2011

Are you Numb?

It’s amazing what we can become numb to. When we first get sick or develop some sort of problem, it can feel so painful or irritating. But after time, our bodies adjust and although it may still feel painful, the intensity may wear down. Not in all cases but in some. I am often amazed when I see someone who is in a wheelchair- what once probably felt like the end of the world has now become a part of their life and they are able to deal with it so efficiently and make it work. I am in awe of that, as I complain about my small inconveniences from day to day. I’m sure when they first became disabled they never imagined they would one day be able to handle it the way they do now. They are somewhat forced to become numb to it.

I do believe this is something God gave us to be able to cope with some of our challenges in life. However, I see the other side of this all too often. I see people who are in a horrible marriage and have become numb to it. They say, “This is just how life is, right? My parents were like this and now we are.” Numb. I see women who have been struggling with Depression for so long, raising their little ones and providing for their families, they have become numb to the deep sadness and pain on the inside. Numb. I see men who struggle with their lack of connection to others and who have lost a sense of adventure in their lives, just going day in and day out at a job with little purpose or enjoyment to them. Numb. I see men and women who were sexually abused as children. They HAD to numb themselves when they were little to keep the “secret” they swore they would never tell. They now numb themselves with drugs, alcohol, rage, control, sex, relationships, or food. Numb.

It’s so sad that this defense mechanism that God gave us to help ourselves cope has now become a way of life for so many. The problem is, when you numb out to the bad emotions, you also numb out to the good ones, too. If you numb yourself to sadness, it will be difficult to feel happiness when it comes along. Your body can’t decipher the two- it just numbs itself all over. It’s like when you go to the dentist to get a cavity filled. When they give you a shot your whole mouth becomes numb, not just the area they will be working on. This happens with our emotions as well.

When clients come in to our office, we encourage them to quit numbing themselves and give themselves permission to feel. Feel it all, good and bad. We teach them how to cope with the bad and learn to really feel and experience the joy and happiness that comes from the freedom of not living numb! It is so amazing to watch the unveiling of this. It is beautiful and we are honored to be a part of this process.

I want to challenge you today- Do you live your life numb? Or do you really experience your life both good and bad. Do you see how the “bad” or difficult can make you stronger and better? It can help you experience the “good” and wonderful at an even higher level!

Thank you for reading today- I wish you the best!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

07Oct 2010

Feel good by setting smaller goals

“My goal for today is to find out what is causing the RANCID smell in my refrigerator!”  -My friend, Heather, mother of 4

I have been planning to write a blog on small goals for quite some time. I must say my friend Heather, quoted above, inspired me on Monday when she said this with such passion!  She was in the kitchen and I was in the living room playing with the kids. My ears perked up when I heard such passion and the sentence start with “My goal for today….” I knew it would be something profound. So I literally laughed out loud when she told me what her goal was.

When you are overwhelmed, going through life, and sometimes just surviving day to day, to achieve a goal that simple can mean so much to your mental health. Every time Heather opened the refrigerator she was reminded of something she needed to get done and something that made her feel negative. So today was the day to end the madness.

When we feel overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious, it is important to not make it worse by looking at the big picture. Looking at our situations as “forever” or “always” makes us want to give up. It is more helpful to break things into smaller pieces. What part of the picture can I do today to make the situation better, bearable, or make myself feel a little better?

I was reminded of the importance of this on my maternity leave. With 3 children at very different stages of development, having completely different needs, I often felt very overwhelmed and inadequate for the task at hand. I had to live in the moment and put out fires one by one. After awhile, I started feeling down on myself. I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything. In reality, I was accomplishing a lot. I was keeping 3 little ones fed, bathed, safe, and healthy every day. But I couldn’t see that at the time. So I pulled a tool out of my mental health tool box. It was a tool we used when I worked in the Stress Center. Every morning we would have a group and everyone would state their goal for the day. What is one thing you can do today to help yourself feel better? So I started doing this. Some days it would even be as simple as I wanted to wash my hair or call and make an appointment. Or one day it was that I want to take a shower without an interruption. It sounds silly but that would take planning on my part. It was amazing how accomplishing that one thing would make me feel like I was accomplishing something! One day I remember sharing with my best friend that my goal for the day was to get the kids outside on a walk. It took us literally an hour to get us all out the door only to have 2 of the 3 poop their pants before we got around the cul-de-sac! She asked why I even bothered going back out after cleaning them up. I told her I was determined because it was my goal for the day!! I felt better after accomplishing it.

So when you find yourself very overwhelmed or feeling too depressed to do anything, ask yourself, “What is ONE thing I can do today?” and try to accomplish it. Then the next day, try it again. Take things in smaller doses, look at the puzzle in smaller pieces, and take a small step.

By the way, Heather, what was that smell???? :)

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

23Sep 2010

Depression in Women during their 30′s and 40′s: Triggers and How to Manage

I recently posted my guest columnist blog on The Confident Mom website. Susan Heid is a Certified Parenting Coach and offers GREAT suggestions and help to Mom’s. Her site is helpful, informative, and colorful! I love just relaxing and browsing her information. Take some time for yourself today and check it out: http://www.theconfidentmom.com
Enjoy this wonderful day!

02Jun 2010

Do you abuse yourself?

I am always amazed how much I learn from my clients. Many times I feel like I learn more from them than I learned in Graduate School! I am grateful that I work with such insightful people. Recently one of my clients told me something that just really stuck so I wanted to share it with you.

He was in a shame spiral, not knowing whether his Depression was stemming from the shame or the shame was causing the Depression. When I told him that I noticed his “self-talk” seemed really negative, he responded, “Yes it is. It’s like I am mentally and emotionally abusing myself”. Wow! That is exactly what he was doing. If he messed up at work, he called himself an idiot. If dinner was burnt, he was stupid. If he was 5 minutes late for an appointment, he was a failure. If someone in a relationship talked to him like this he would leave the relationship!!

Many of us that struggle with shame talk to ourselves like this all day long. The problem is, we can’t leave our relationship with ourselves. We HAVE to work on it if we want to feel better. I am constantly reminding my clients, when we are working on self-talk, to talk to themselves with the same grace and mercy we give our friends. If you messed up at work, allow yourself to be human. If dinner was burnt, although disappointed, I am sure this doesn’t make you stupid. If you are on time 99% of the time and are late, give yourself some grace- a friend would.

It is difficult to change these “tapes” in our head. Many of us recorded these tapes from how we were raised. So it can be difficult to erase them and start over after many years. That is why it’s important to keep trying until the tapes become a more normal way for you to think or talk to yourself.

So when you start feeling depressed or are feeling down on yourself, ask yourself,  ”How is my self-talk?. Try to change your self-talk to a more positive and friendly response. Is that how you would talk to a friend? Would you abuse someone else like that? I don’t think so. Don’t do it to you!

Thanks for listening and have a great week! This may be my last blog for awhile but I will be back after baby….. Or maybe I’ll slip in a surprise blog or two after those middle of the night awakenings!! God bless!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.