Monthly Archives: December 2010

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22Dec 2010

How my poinsettia is like a relationship!


Why in the world would I post an amateur picture of a poinsettia on my blog? And then compare it to a relationship? Let me tell you a little story….

Last week, Tamara was so sweet to think of all of us at Imagine Hope when she saw some beautiful poinsettias while shopping. She surprised us all with them at the office. I enjoyed looking at it last week at work. I was out of the office for the weekend, and when I returned on Tuesday, mine looked like I had literally killed it. I felt so bad! I immediately gave it some water. By mid-afternoon I was happy to see that it was trying it’s hardest to come back. When I returned this morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’m not kidding when I say that the poinsettia actually looks better than it did last week when she first gave it to me. It is so BEAUTIFUL! I was so excited!! One thing you should know is I am the one in the office that is known for killing the plants. I don’t know why I do but I do! Another thing you should know about us is we try, well we don’t even try, it just comes natural to us- we are all very light hearted and joke a lot when we are not working. It helps us keep our spirits up so we can be more positive with our clients. That and we all enjoy working with each other. Anyway, when I saw my beautiful plant, I HAD to text Tamara to show her. Her and Joleen had been in my office the day prior and I just knew they probably got a chuckle that I had already killed my Christmas present! So I text Tamara with a picture that said, “He is risen! He is risen indeed!” She got quite a chuckle out of that. I hope you did, too!

Ok, all of that to tell you my point!! Our relationships are so like that! Sometimes it may seem they are dying or really weak. Maybe they just need a little attention! It’s amazing what a compliment, a “How ARE you?”, or what a tight embrace can do when a partner is feeling lonely in a relationship. It can open the doors to conversations or just light a spark that could lead to a flame. If you’re not “watering your plant” so to speak in your relationship, it’s going to die. We somehow get this notion that when we meet someone and fall in love, love will carry us through our lives. Not so! Yes, love is important, but if we don’t nurture and take care of our relationship, it will die off. This is not only in romantic relationships but friendships, family members, and even our investment in our co-workers. You will typically get out what you put into it. One thing I know about Tamara is that she loves to laugh! So one reason I texted her the picture with the funny saying was to actually nurture our friendship. I was taking a moment out of a very busy day to make her laugh, let her know I was thinking about her, and to let her know that I saved the plant!

I’m so glad my poinsettia was saved! It’s so pretty! It’s also a reminder to me over the Holidays to invest time in my family. Not just the giving and the getting, but to truly invest in each of their love languages. So what plant can you water this weekend?

I thank God that he invested in us all and gave us His Son in human form so we could all relate to Him and have an example to live by. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. God bless you and your family!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

15Dec 2010

Ideas for Gift Giving from the Heart

This past weekend was my birthday. I love birthdays! Most people my age don’t look forward to them but I do. It really is a time to celebrate another year of life! You lived to see another birthday, right?? What’s not to celebrate!?! However, with a 5-month old, I am not getting a lot of sleep. She is still struggling thru the night. I wasn’t even thinking about my birthday this year because I just needed some rest! So this year for my birthday, my husband gave me the gift of rest and relaxation! He told me at the beginning of the weekend that he didn’t want me to cook, clean, or do anything- just rest and relax. He told me to sleep in as late as I wanted and to take naps when I wanted! I had to pinch myself- a dream come true for me!! He hit it way out of the park. My two primary love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I guess sleep would be one too but I don’t think Gary Chapman, the author of the Five Love Languages, remembers having little ones! :) He also arranged for my best friend and her husband to watch the kids so he could take me out to a romantic dinner! (Thank you to my BFF for the gift of babysitting, too! Hmm… another love language! I think I’ll rewrite that book!) It gets better! At the dinner, instead of just talking about the kids or work or whatever we find to talk about, my husband asked me a great question: “In looking back over this year, what were your favorite parts? What was good about this year?” It spurred a lot of wonderful memories and forced me to focus on the positives of living another year. I immediately started crying when I thought of how much I have been blessed this year. This was such a gift to me. He not only thought out the dinner but thought of something meaningful we could chat about, too. My love tank runneth over!!

I thought it was important to blog this during this Christmas season. Not just to make my husband look good or make our relationship look perfect (I can hear him lol right now reading this!). But to remind us all when we are gift giving that it is so important to think not of just what that person may want but what might they NEED? What is going on in their lives right now? Are they going thru a rough time and need a listening ear? Are your neighbors struggling with time management and could use a hot meal delivered to their door rather than a fruitcake? Is your Grandma lonely and could use a lunch out to her favorite restaurant? Is your wife complaining about how tired she is and could use a morning to sleep in or a weekend of napping? Is your hubby bombarded with the snow this week and would love coming home to a shoveled driveway? There are SO many things we can do to offer gifts that truly say I LOVE YOU! Have fun with it! Get creative!

For more ideas and a great read: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have a great week! God bless!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

09Dec 2010

Teaching our kids to do as we say and as we do!

“If it is desirable that children be kind, appreciative, and pleasant, those qualities should be taught- not hoped for.” ~James Dobson

I love this quote! When raising our children, it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day things we MUST do- get them to school on time, provide healthy meals for them to enjoy, keep them clean and healthy etc. Because we are so busy, we HOPE they become kind, generous, loving people. Or maybe the thought crosses our minds and we think, “yeah, when they get a little older I will teach them those things. They don’t understand now.” It’s easy to let it go for now. But teaching kids the qualities you value is something you can do everyday from the beginning of their lives. It doesn’t even have to take any more of your time! Wow- I love when I can actually accomplish something that won’t take up any more of my time! Wahoo!

How? you might ask. Two steps:
Define what qualities are important to you.
Live them!!!

It really is that easy! You see, our kids are watching us. They are learning from us. And they want to be like us! So if we have these qualities and live them out in our lives, our kids will naturally mimic our behaviors. For me, I really want to live out the Fruits of the Spirit that are spoke of in the Bible (Galations 5:22-23 for those of you interested). These qualities are love, joy, peace, perseverance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Christian or not, who can argue against what kind of life you will lead if those qualities are what you strive for? I fall short every day but I do get back up and strive again and again.

You may wonder how you live these out and show your children? Simple things like holding a door open for someone, letting someone go ahead of you in line, being kind to the cashier at the grocery store, showing self-control when your children are frustrating you! All of those things, being seen over and over, will become natural to your child. Then they will do them without thinking about it.

I think it is important to not just hope for these qualities but to teach them. More importantly we must do as we say so our children will do as we do. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a wonderful week!

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.