Monthly Archives: May 2012

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30May 2012

Need an Attitude Adjustment?

“The last of human freedom and the one that nobody can take away is to choose one’s attitude in anyone’s set of circumstances.”

When you hear this quote, you may think it is from someone who has a wonderful life. One might think, “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say. I bet you have an amazing job, a huge house, maids, butlers…” however you define having a wonderful life. For me, I would think this person must sit on the beach all day with a book, eating delicious food and pondering life.

Do you know who this is actually a quote from? Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who wrote an impactful book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”. In this book, he speaks about how we have the freedom to choose how we are going to respond to any situation. This amazes me to hear that someone who has been thru so much can still believe this way. He also goes on to talk about how we can all find purpose in any situation and how having purpose gives us meaning to our existence.

Joyce Meyer, another person I admire and respect, puts it this way (I love her no nonscense approach). “Your problem is not your problem: Your attitude towards your problem is your problem!” Preach it, sista!

Both of these inspiring people are correct. We can choose to be angry when we are stuck in traffic or decide to take the quiet time and listen to music and “relax”. When our kids are screaming and hollering (this ones hard), we can scream and holler back or take a few deep breaths, and calmly react. Or go scream in a pillow in the closet! lol When the neighbors dog poops on our freshly cut lawn we can let it ruin our day or pick it up, put it on their front porch, and move on! Oops- did I just say that out loud?? :) Don’t do that!

I’m not trying to minimize anyone’s problems by any means. But even when the struggles are more difficult than the above, we still have the freedom to choose how we will respond.

How will you respond to lifes challenges today?

Thank you for reading! Choose to have a great day!

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

23May 2012

Get Out of Your Funk Thru Encouragement

According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of Encourage is “to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope”. I LOVE that! Isn’t that true? I was most recently reminded of this on my journey to the mini-marathon.

One day in the winter, I was outside running alone. It was cold and windy. I was feeling very discouraged. All the sudden, I noticed a woman running as well. I could tell she was doing something to get my attention but she was so far off that I couldn’t see. As she approached me, I noticed she was giving me the thumbs up! I did not even know her but she could see I was struggling. She was encouraging me. I cannot tell you how this lifted my spirits! I sincerely felt a rush of energy and made it thru my last 2 cold, windy miles.

As I was running the mini, I started feeling “discouraged” or of low energy around mile 9. I was tired, hot, and desperately wanted to keep running. Suddenly I remembered this unknown woman from the winter and what she had done for me. Then I started thinking about how I teach my clients who are struggling with depression to help others as part of their recovery.Something about helping others helps us get out of “ourselves” for awhile and makes us feel better on the inside. At that moment, I realized I needed to start encouraging others.

I started saying things to people as I passed them (if I could see they are struggling). “You’re doing great! Keep going! Don’t give up- almost there!”

I will never forget this elderly man. I was amazed he was still running. When I encouraged him, he gave me the funniest look! I realize now he was probably thinking, “I’m not worried about me, lady, you look like you are about ready to collapse yourself!”

I kept going and kept encouraging. Now the focus was off of “me” and it was about helping others. I am not kidding you, by mile 11 I was literally laughing, dancing to make my running partner laugh, and although not very smart on my part, I started running in front of her BACKWARDS to encourage her. I had a RUSH of energy. There is no doubt in my mind that this happened because I was encouraging others.

Now I know many people may argue this as codependency. Yes, you don’t want to get in the trap of taking care of everyone else and ignoring your own pain. That’s not what this was about. See, I was being taken care of. I had a ton of encouragement thru people on the side of the street yelling, my family at the finish line, the great God winks I got along the way. I truly had everything I needed. So it was good to give. It’s when our needs are met as much as they can be, we have done all we can do, yet we still are feeling “tired, discouraged, and wanting desperately to keep going”. THAT’S when this works.

So if you find yourself in a funk, how can you help others? What is something you can do to get out of yourself for a minute and focus on someone else? You will get far more in return than you ever give away!

Thank you for reading and have a GREAT day!

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

16May 2012

No blog this week ;)

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful week. I am heading to a Mother’s Day tea at my son’s school. I couldn’t be more excited! I just love stuff like this. He has already begged me not to cry…great! Set me up for failure right away! I’ll do my best.

Typically, this is the time I use to do my writing. I’m not seeing another block I can do it this week, so I’m going to let this go for the week. However, many of you have expressed your interest in my more faith-based blogs. I thought I would direct you to one I wrote this week for Northview Church. It’s at the following link:

http://www.google.com/search?q=Northview+church+carmel+blog&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari

You’ll have to scroll down a bit. It posted yesterday but they write several in a day. It’s called “If only”. I hope you are able to grab a tidbit of info from it.

For everyone else, I will look forward to seeing you next week. Thanks again for all your time you spend reading and responding. It makes writing so much fun and rewarding. Have a blessed week!

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

09May 2012

Happy Mother’s Day- A Tribute to My Mom

I know that Mother’s Day evokes many emotions for people- some good and unfortunately, some bad. My heart goes out to those who struggle with this day. Whether it be because your relationship with your Mom is strained, your Mother has passed away, or because you grieve wanting to BE a Mom. It can be a difficult day.

For me, this brings positive emotion. I was blessed to have a Mom who I can now call “friend” as an adult.

I was the youngest of three girls, so by the time I was old enough to remember, my Mom had to go back to work. I now realize the demands of a Mom, let alone a working Mom. I don’t know how she did it but I always had a clean towel, clean underwear, and a warm meal. All of those things go unnoticed and unappreciated as a kid. They are treasured now.

I also remember sometimes feeling lonely because my older sisters would be off doing something with older kids. My Mom would sit down with me and play my favorite game, “Holly Hobbie’s Wishing Well”. What an interruption to her busy day this must have been. But I would have never known. She acted like it was all she had to do that day! What a treat for me.

If I had to sum up my Mom in 2 words it would be “servant’s heart”. My Mom is very busy yet always takes time to help out at her church, to take dinner to a sick friend (or even a stranger for that matter), and is always available to help me when I ask. She is in her late 60′s and still works full time, yet still uses her spare time serving others. Last week, my Mom knew I was preparing for a tough weekend. I had a graduation on Friday eve, the mini marathon on Saturday, and my son’s birthday party on Sunday! She asked how she could help but my independent self couldn’t think of anything. As I got home at 10pm Thursday night, the first thing I saw was our laundry room.- it was a reminder of all the laundry waiting to be carried downstairs and washed. I wanted to throw up- literally. I didn’t know how I would ever get all our laundry done! As I went to everyone’s room to “gather” my husband hollered upstairs, “Your Mom took all the kids laundry home and will do it for you!” Oh Wow! I can’t express the burden lifted from me. I couldn’t WAIT to call and thank her!! This is who she is- a servant- someone who will help even if you don’t ask. Someone who will do the little, yucky things like clean your kids nasty underwear, knowing she won’t be glorified or acknowledged by anyone but me. I am grateful for the example she set for me.

I can’t express my undying gratitude to her for these things. I pray many blessings on my Mom and I know God has a special place in heaven for her. Thank you, Mom! Love you!!

Written by Natalie Chandler

Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville

06May 2012

Mini Marathon Goal Accomplished!

I can officially check running in and finishing the Indy 500 Mini Marathon off my bucket list!!! Yes, I did it!!

I can’t even express the elation I felt yesterday, not just as I crossed the finish line, but the entire race. I just kept thinking about this entire journey and what it’s meant to me.

I can’t wait to share with you more of the things I’ve learned, but tonight I am going to continue resting and taking care of myself! However, I wanted to post my picture and let those of you know who are supporting me that I finished. And to top it all off, I was surrounded by my husband and son, my BFF Tammy, and my sisters! I am truly, truly blessed!

I can’t thank you all enough for your well wishes thru text, email, and prayers. I felt every bit of encouragement that you gave. God bless you all!

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