Repost of Part 2 of the Poinsettia:
I know you are all probably sick of seeing pictures of my poinsettia. But look at the poor thing! I realized, yet again, that I had not been taking good care of it. I should put the poor thing out of its misery and give it to someone, shouldn’t I?? That’s what I was thinking Tuesday when I took this picture. But yet again, I gave it some water and some oxygen when I spoke to it and said, “I’m sorry! I wish you had a better home!” Yesterday I came in and it was back to life. Wow! Resilient little thing, isn’t it?
This triggered me to start thinking about resiliency. Why are some plants more resilient than others? Why are some people more resilient than others? I think some people are more resilient because of their circumstances. If you grow up where you are forced to be reliant, guess what, you develop resiliency. I remember reading a journal in Graduate School that talked about Adult Children of Alcoholics and how they show more resiliency than the average person. That makes sense to me. So some of it is circumstances. But I do believe we can also develop resiliency. I was able to identify 3 things right off the bat that could help us be more resilient in difficult situations.
The first thing is thinking positive. When something negative happens, it is natural for us to think something negative. But do we go into a spiral or think positive? I’m not saying to deny your negative feelings. However, it won’t do you any good to let yourself spiral into a negative thinking pattern that only brings on more negative emotions. TRY to see the positive in a situation.
The second things is to get historical. Think of a time in your life that you were down and out. What did you do to get out of it? What strengths did you have that helped you make it thru? You may have struggled, but you obviously made it thru because you are here, reading this today. So you lived! What was it that kept you hanging on? Did you ask for help? Did you think positive? Did you get on your knees? What did you do? Get historical and do it again!
The final thing that I find VERY helpful in helping me be resilient is quoting the Serenity Prayer:
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
That says it all:
What CAN I do?
And letting go of the rest!
I can imagine there are several other things that we can do to be more resilient. Those are just what came to mind today.
Feel free to drop me a comment on what you have found useful to help you be more resilient. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have a great weekend!
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.