Over the Holidays I started reading a wonderful book called, “Fresh Brewed Life” by Nicole Johnson. This is a wonderful book about how to bring freshness to your hum drum, day in-day out life. I am only up to chapter 4 and have already learned so much. I’ve been inspired in new ways with my journaling and being more honest with myself and frankly, God.
Last night I was reading about the difference between dreams and longings. I just HAD to share it with you, as you might not have time (or a desire) to read the book.
She was stating how a dream is something we really want and can actually have. A longing is something we will never have. For example, someone may dream to get married one day. They may long to have that man understand them, complete them, and meet all their needs. See the difference? One is something that could happen (a dream). The other is something that is impossible (a longing)- impossible because no one can “complete” us or meet all our needs.
Then she talks about the importance of knowing the difference so we are not constantly seeking something that will never be. Once we realize it’s a longing and something we cannot have, we must grieve it. Oh yes, the lovely grief I so readily talk about. Not fun- not pretty- but necessary.
In realizing this, it was amazing to me how many “longings” I have that I need to let go. I am someone who doesn’t give up very easily. It goes in my favor much of the time. But oftentimes can make me stubborn and unwilling to let go of things that I clearly need to let go. I was able to see thru the journaling the things I need to quit longing for and to let them go. And yes, grieve.
So I challenge you to do the same. Write down your dreams. Then look at what might be a longing. Decipher between them. Those that are dreams- go for it! Longings- start to let go!
Thank you so much for reading. And thank you, Nicole Johnson, for being so inspiring in your wonderful book, “The Fresh Brewed Life”. You are giving me fresh things to think about!
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
“They may long to have that man understand them, complete them, and meet all their needs. … The other is something that is impossible (a longing)- impossible because no one can “complete” us or meet all our needs.”
Hmmm… what about the ‘man understand them’ … noticed that was not mentioned on the impossible list?? *mischievous grin*
Teasing aside… sorting out the possible dreams/goals and the impossible longings sounds like a good place to start to find direction especially at times when one road seems to be winding down and a new path needed.
Would add Peter McWilliam’s advice that ‘you can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want’…. “Most people, however, rather than choosing one, just give up … “I can’t have anything I want,” they sigh.” ….
So step one figure out what is a doable dream vs an impossible longing then prioritize those dreams to Do It!
(By the way Peter McWilliam’s Book DO IT! Let’s Get Off Our Buts A Guide to Living Your Dreams is free online at http://www.drugsense.org/mcwilliams/www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/doit/doittoc.htm )
Debbie