IHCG – Teri Claassen's Blog
Imagine Hope Counselor
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Do you have a constant conversation in your head? Do you ever slow down to listen to it?
Funny concept, huh? But in reality most people are so used to the chatter in their head, that they have no clue how much they are listening to it and reacting to it.
For example, if Jane is talking to her husband and he seems distracted and uninterested. Jane might say this in her head… “Seriously? Does he even care? All I want is to get him to connect with me and he isn’t even listening. He is so annoyed by me. I wonder if he even loves me anymore.” Then when he asks her something later, Jane might react with a cold, negative tone because she thinks that he thinks all of the things she just said in her mind are true.
Did you catch the confusion? “She thinks that he thinks….” Mind reading is dangerous and can lead to miscommunication and a lot of hurt feelings that are rooted in assumptions- not truth.
So be careful when the chatter starts down a mind reading path. You might end up with heart ache from listening to the voices. Instead tell the voices to quiet down and talk to the other person about how you feel and what you need from them. Clearing up assumptions is always a better path!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Codependency, Communication, marriage, Stress | No Comments »
We recently went on a family vacation which makes it hard to adjust back to the real world. Monday morning hits and it’s back to school and work for all of us.
As I feel the longing to be back on our trip, I realized one of the things I miss the most is the laughter. We laughed a lot! There were so many silly moments where it seemed we all felt “kid like”. We were relaxed, focused on quality time, and found joy in tons of little things.
What about you? When is the last time you laughed? What helps you be able to let loose and embrace the moment to find joy in it? Do you live life too seriously and save the fun for vacations?
One thing I am going to work on in the coming weeks is to bring some of our vacation into our real world. How? By laughing more. Cracking up at the silly, crazy things that find their way into our lives. There are plenty of opportunities.
I challenge you to search for moments of laughter too. Experiencing joy and laughter is great medicine!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Healthy Living, Stress | No Comments »
Life does not always go your way. Sorry to break it to you, but you can’t control it all.
Many times in life we have to learn to roll with things and be flexible. Life is so much easier when we allow for flexibility. You can lean into life with excitement and anticipation, rather than trying to control and getting derailed when things don’t go as planned.
John Wooden said “An effective leader allows exceptions to the rule for exceptional results or when circumstance demands”. Flexibility is a trait of leaders, not a weakness.
Look at ways you can stretch yourself today and let go of the high expectations you have for things out of your control. Look at life and see where “rolling with the flow” will gain you better life satisfaction. Mastering this will bring much more fulfilling journey!
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Goals, Healthy Living, Perfectionism, Stress | No Comments »
While on a family bike ride, my 3 year old reminded me of a great life lesson: When you fall, get right back up again.
We had a collision that I thought for sure would end with us all walking back. As she was falling over, I tried to reach down and help her up, but lost my balance and I fell off my bike. It ended with me and my bike on top of her on the side walk! I’m sure it looked hilarious and awful all at the same time 
As she was crying, I asked if she wanted to ride any more and she said “Yes” as she wiped her tears. What? She wasn’t too scared?
What a great reminder to face fears even after they have been scary and ended in pain. Sometimes in life we get scared and wounded, and run far from the situation. My daughter didn’t. She got right back on the bike and continued on with courage.
When you fall, do you get back up again? Do you learn from the pain? Do you take a risk or run away? Don’t let fear take away living life. Get up and face your fears today!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Fear, Healthy Living, Stress | No Comments »
Are you a liar in your own head?
No really…do you tell yourself lies in your head? Do you jump to conclusions that spiral out of control and create anxiety?
Sometimes issues like shame and abandonment can overtake your thinking in intense ways. It can be hard to figure out if the thoughts in your head are based on reality or on shame and abandonment issues.
One of the first ways to figure it out is to ask the question, “Is this thought true?” If the answer is…not really…not all the time…or I’m not sure, then the thought is probably a lie rooted in shame and abandonment.
When it is shame and abandonment, try taking a step back and telling shame and abandonment to back off! Reclaim your thoughts that are based on TRUTH you do know, not LIES that will take over and spiral into pain and anxiety.
Believing the lies in your head can ruin relationships, cause major regrets and frustration in your life.
Focus on TRUTH to combat the negative messages of shame and abandonment. Shifting from their lies will bring a new freedom and lens in life for a better chance at a fulfilling life!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: negative self talk, Shame. abandonment
Posted in Depression, Stress | No Comments »
My family knows I cry when I’m happy. Often I see a curious toddler’s face pause to ask, “Mommy, Are those happy tears?” Usually followed by a huge hug and me explaining what I feel so happy about in that moment.
Why do I cry when I’m happy? It’s because I am moved by the moment. I pause and breathe in every second around me. I feel overwhelmed with blessings to be having that slice of time, and tear up in my joy that I get to experience it.
Sometimes it hits me in the most random places. Driving in my car. Time with my husband. Playing with my kids. Even just being outside. There are so many beautiful moments all around.
I try to put on my attitude of gratitude as often as I can. There are no guarantees in life, so I make efforts to not get lost in this crazy busy world and miss the moments of time I might not ever get again.
Doing this highlights my blessings and helps me negotiate my trials with the positives I have in life. It is easy to get caught up in all the negativity in life and be a victim to this world’s madness. But what fulfillment does that bring in life?
Instead I choose happy tears…I strive to embrace every ounce of good I can possibly get out of my day. This mindset gives me a totally different lens in life full of thankfulness, joy, and positive. Try it…the benefits are worth tearing up over!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: attitude of gratitude, optimistic, positive
Posted in Faith-Based Living, Goals, Healthy Living, Relationships, Stress | No Comments »
No pain….No gain.
But how do you do through the pain? Do you persevere knowing that the storm will pass or do you give up, avoid, or bury it?
There are TONS of situations where this concept is true. Work hard in school- get good grades and into a good college. Eat healthy consistently and exercise- the weight comes off. Save money- take a nice vacation. Of course all situations aren’t as cut and dry and easy to find the positive outcomes.
When you are in sacrifice mode, it can be hard to not grumble and complain. But you have to keep your eye on the prize. Knowing there is a positive outcome can help you endure the difficult time. But focusing on how hard the sacrifice is will suck you into a negative mindset and make it harder to make it through the hard parts.
I know maintaining hope can be grueling. I encourage you to view your pain as a means to an end. There is some sort of payoff on the other side. You might not know exactly the outcome, but hold tight and look closely. When you are looking for it, you are more likely to see the positive. The pay off might be as simple as a lesson learned or character refinement, but that can still have positive life changing effects!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Goals, Stress | 1 Comment »
Hope is a powerful emotion. It gives us a sense that there is life outside the craziness around us.
At some point… a horrible day ends…the fight gets resolved… the illness might get cured… a new job is offered… he does graduate from high school… and you will stop crying.
I know in the midst of the pain, it seems that all hope is lost. Your tunnel vision sinks in and all the voices become mumbles.
It might seem pointless to believe that the pain will stop. You might not be able to control the situation, but you do get to control what you do with the situation.
I encourage you to find hope from your pain. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Look for it. Cling to it.
Sometimes it just takes you looking for the hope and noticing it is right there with you along the way. It is what helps you get out of bed, helps you take the next step, and find the tiniest ounce of pleasure as you go through the pain. When you believe it is there, you will find it.
Be kind to those around you- you might give them the hope they are looking for to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep searching for the hope…it will be what keeps you going and not stuck in the pain. I wish you all hope on life’s crazy journey!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Divorce, Faith-Based Living, Goals, Parenting, Relationships, Stress | No Comments »
I love spending time with my husband and kids. I truly love my job. I love how I feel after a run. I love deep conversations about life with my husband. I love hiking. I love exploring the outdoors and small towns. I love cooking and trying new recipes. I love the idea of sitting and drinking coffee for hours with a friend. I love writing. I love reading books and learning new concepts. I love teaching my kids something new and playing with them. The list could go on and on…
Look at all these things I “LOVE”. That is what makes it so hard for me to choose my time wisely. There are so many options of what I could do, I don’t get a chance to do them all very often. Besides if I did them all, I would be stretched too thin and be overwhelmed.
The key to prioritizing is finding balance. This is a hard concept to master, but with practice can get better. You have to weigh how much you “need” things verses the reality of how much time you spend doing it. Many times it comes back to setting limits with myself and others in order to have enough time to do the things I “have” to do and “love” to do. Try making a priority list and then go back over it and ask yourself how much time you really spend doing those things. If the amount of time spent isn’t matching with the importance of the priority- you may be out of balance.
Although balancing is hard and we often fall, we can always get back up and try again. Balance is key to helping us live successful and happy lives.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Family Issues, Goals, Parenting, Perfectionism, Relationships, Stress | No Comments »
We all have dreams throughout life that we think “If only this would happen, life would be perfect.” That dream being fulfilled is our answer for contentment and our signal to actually start living and loving our lives.
Whether it is having the perfect relationship, a better job, a certain amount of money, a bigger house, or kids that behave, we all have ideals that “if only” they happened life would be good.
But how often are those dreams actually fulfilled? Are they even realistic or attainable? The problem is we sit around waiting for these dreams to come true and in the mean time life passes us by.
I love the book “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. The following is a quote from this book, which depicts this concept:
“Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time- when pursued like a bandit- will behave like one; always remaining one county or one room ahead of you, changing its name and hair color to elude you, slipping out the back door of the motel just as you’re banging through the lobby with your newest search warrant, leaving only a burning cigarette in the ashtray to taunt you. At some point you have to stop because it won’t. You have to admit you can’t catch it” (p 155).
I’m not saying we should stop dreaming; I am saying we need to stop chasing unattainable dreams that leave us unhappy if they don’t come true. Just remember the danger of chasing the life of your dreams too hard. You might end up loosing your chance to live it.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Goals, Perfectionism, Stress | No Comments »
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