IHCG – Teri Claassen's Blog
Imagine Hope Counselor
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In the last 7 months both of my grandparents have passed away. That generation in my family is now completely gone. Ira was 92 and Marcile was 90. My grandpa died 1 month prior to their 70th wedding anniversary! What an accomplishment! As I watched both of them go downhill rather quickly that past year and a half, I think about all the things they accomplished in life and what I’ll miss.
My grandpa was a warrior and had a near death experience in WWII when he survived his ship being torpedoed. Had he not tread water for 45 minutes in the English Channel on a cold December day before being rescued, I wouldn’t be here. I’ll miss not hearing his amazing stories of history that I didn’t appreciate as much as I should of as a child.
My grandmother should have written a cookbook. I have never tasted pie so good and her gravy was incredible. She always brought spark to a conversation with her opinions and was in her element in the kitchen.
Life and family gatherings will be different without Ira and Marcile around. I won’t hear him call her “Dearie” as he falls asleep sitting up, and I won’t hear her complain about him sleeping.
Grief and loss is an interesting experience. Through the many losses I’ve experienced in my life and through all my education, I’ve learned that it is a sad but true part of being human. As I grieve the changes in our family, I will treasure the memories and memorialize them by sharing their stories. I will be sad when needed and grateful for the moments we shared.
Rest in peace Ira and Marcile. Thank you for touching our lives.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Grief Issues | No Comments »
Life can go by so fast. Sometimes it seems like I am replaying the past in my head and wishing something had gone differently, or focusing on what I want to happen next. It takes a conscious effort for me to breathe in the very second I’m in.
When I’m in the moment, I focus on all the things I see, hear, smell, and most of all how it feels. It’s like I am a sponge and absorbing even facet of the moment. I imprint it onto my brain and hold the memory close.
When I am in the moment, I am more content. It seems like I can connect in a deeper way and genuinely experience my life. Doing this regularly helps me be more in tune as a wife, mother, and therapist.
I encourage you to do this regularly throughout your week. Try not to get lost in the craziness, but instead take regular breaks to live and breathe in the moment. Otherwise life will just pass you by!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: Living in the moment
Posted in Depression, Healthy Living | No Comments »
When driving on my route to work, I pass a church that used to have an old sign in front of it. Several months ago I saw that the sign had been hit by a car and was badly mangled. Now the church has a beautiful, brick, modern sign that fits the area the church is in.
I can imagine that the church was content with the old sign before the accident, but now after the accident the church was able to rebuild and have a much nicer sign.
This is a powerful example of how a crisis or accident can happen in our lives and at first we may be hurt and overwhelmed by things. But when we really step back and look at the situation, we can look at the crisis as an opportunity to rebuild to something more beautiful. Jennifer Rothschild says, “In the adversity we dread, we find the life of which we’ve only dreamed.”
I work with couples who are plagued by infidelity. I help them see that even in the midst of a horribly painful experience that they now have a chance to rebuild their relationship to something they never thought possible. They would never wish the affair to happen, just like the church would have never wanted their sign to be destroyed. However, the bond and connection after healing from infidelity has the potential to draw them closer than ever. The book “My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me” by Anne Bercht describes this. Her and her husband have an incredible story of forgiveness and rebuilding. Unfortunately all couples do not have this experience after an affair, and I would never say that having an affair would make things better in a relationship. But it is important for couples to know that even in the most devastating crisis, there is hope and a chance to rebuild. The road is long and hard, but has the potential for healing and a bond you never would have imagined.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: Healing after an affair
Posted in Divorce, Faith-Based Living, Infidelity, Marriage Counseling, Relationships | No Comments »
Did you know that starfish can re-grow an arm if it has been severed? It can take years for the complete healing process to happen. But it is possible for a starfish to be totally healed and for there to be no evidence that any damage was done.
Many people walk into my office with old wounds. They carry pain and burdens around through life that drag them down and cause issues in their present life. Many do not consciously see the connection of the past wounds to the present issues, but I help them connect the dots. We don’t just have reactions, fears, or anger out of no where. It is rooted in us from experiences we have had.
One of the key things I help teach my clients is that you do not have to be “cursed” by your past, but you do need to understand it’s power. If we ignore it and pretend it doesn’t have an impact on us, then we are denying part of ourselves. Several of my clients are scared and intimidated by the healing of old wounds. It is almost as if they have befriended their pain- even though it is a negative thing in their lives. The key is to get “through” the emotion to the other side of it in order to be free from it.
We can all have hope as we look at the starfish and see that even if it takes a long time to go through the healing- we CAN be healed. We just have to empower ourselves over the past to weaken it’s hold on our present lives. Don’t allow your past to determine your future happiness. You have a choice to heal!
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: Healing, healing old wounds
Posted in Depression, Divorce, Grief Issues, Healthy Living, Infidelity | No Comments »
Music is so therapeutic for me. I find meaning in it’s words and the messages it sends. Years ago a teen girl I was working with was struggling with body image. At the time, the song below was popular. We listened to these words to help empower her to believe in herself rather than allow her beauty to be defined by those around her.
Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
“Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down
So don’t you bring me down today
To all your friends, you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That’s the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring you down
Don’t you bring me down today…
No matter what we do
No matter what they say
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won’t stay
And everywhere we go
The sun won’t always shine
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times
’cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won’t bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down
Don’t you bring me down today”
The message I take from this is to find your own beauty. Why do we allow the world to define beautiful for us? Remember that beauty is not just about looks, but true beauty is about your heart. I created an exercise in college to help clients find their self love and beauty. The mirror exercise is to stand in front of a full length mirror and force positive self talk. You start by saying “I love you ____” and insert your name. Then say “I love____ and ____” and insert one external trait and one internal trait. Here’s an example: “I love you Teri. I love your passion for helping others and your eyes.” Doing this exercise daily helps people to shift their versions of beauty to be what you truly love about yourself rather than leaving it up to others. Remember to not say the same thing every day. Keep a list and try to do something different each time. Pretty soon you will have a big list of all you love about yourself to help you see that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don’t let anyone tell you differently!
Tags: Christina Aguilera, Insecurity, self esteem, True Beauty
Posted in Codependency, Depression | No Comments »
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