Hurt is a reality in relationships. We can’t avoid it or control it. It is a part of the human experience when you connect with others.
People will disappoint, let us down, and might even be blatantly hurtful.
Since we know it is inevitable, the only thing we can control is our reaction to hurt and how we cope with it. Healing from hurt might include having boundaries with someone, expressing your hurt, forgiveness, lowering your expectations for the person, or even cutting the relationship off.
Be sure to cope with the hurt in a way that promotes self-growth, rather than self-destruction. Turning to revenge or addictions can only make things worse for you.
The biggest part of handling the hurt is to make sure you let go of the pain it causes. Hanging on to the hurt will only cause you more pain. This act of forgiveness does not mean you are ok with what happened- it only means you are getting rid of the way it haunts you. It doesn’t even mean you have to invite this person back into your life in the same way. Having boundaries and redefining the relationship can offer you a sense of protection in the relationship.
Yes hurt happens… but there is hope in healing! If you are struggling with letting go of your hurt, it might be helpful to talk through it in counseling. Remember that hurt is unavoidable, but it you protect yourself so tightly from getting hurt- you might miss out on the connection you need and are waiting for.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.