IHCG – Teri Claassen's Blog
Imagine Hope Counselor
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The idea of going with the flow can be a great outlook on life- except when you are going with the flow of something that isn’t good for you.
Take driving for example. I am guilty that sometimes I will be gauging my speed by the flow of traffic rather than my speedometer and speed limits. Then all of a sudden, I look down to see that I am going too fast!
When I let others do my thinking for me, I might get caught up in something I don’t like. This is the power of “group think” and peer pressure.
There have been a number of times I hear clients talk about how they look back and have regrets about something because they were just going with the flow without thinking. Once they take a step back and slow down, they can see the points they should have changed. They just weren’t aware enough.
The key is to be aware while going with the flow. Balance between a care free life and having some control of it has the potential to end in a much better place. Stay in tune with your choices and make decisions intentionally in a way that best aligns with your path and values. Otherwise you might get smacked in the head with something you could have avoided!
Thanks for reading!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Boundaries, Codependency, Fear, Goals, Healthy Living | No Comments »
Do I have parrots or kids? Wow. It does amaze me how much they hear and then “parrot” back to me. Sometimes I didn’t even know they heard me!
The other night as I was trying to motivate my kids to listen to my directions of putting their pajamas on, the phrase “How many times am I going to have to ask you…? came out of my mouth.” I said it without even realizing it.
As a therapist, I would have told myself that the fact I even uttered those words tells me that I let the boundaries get pushed too far and that I am not detaching emotionally from the situation and getting too caught up in their chaos. Ugh…that is sobering and a smack in the forehead to make sure I practice what I teach my clients.
But the real sobering moment was about 5 minutes later when my 2 year old was screaming for me to help her as she had finished going potty. I was finishing grabbing things from my son’s room, so it took me a little bit to get to her.
When I walked in she said, “How many times do I have to call for you to help me?”
OUCH! I could have melted to the floor. Not only did she use my same words, but she also used my same tone!
Moral of the story is…be careful what you teach them. They ARE listening and they WILL do what you do- Good and Bad.
I’m not mad at myself for this reminder. I use it as a teaching moment to redirect me to a healthier place in my life. I am human. I make mistakes. Now I learn from my mistakes.
I hope you are able to take these teachable moments in stride and use them to better yourself. I know this one will stay with me for years to come and remind what not to do!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Boundaries, Family Issues, Parenting | No Comments »
So many people start therapy with the idea that they are going to “fix” their spouse. They are often surprised by the idea when I tell them ” The quickest way to change your spouse is to change yourself.
What? How can you change your spouse by changing yourself?
Most couples have a “dance” they follow. Sometimes they are following the others “lead”, which ends in a destructive pattern. Other times the dance ends with a positive connection.
The way you can change your spouse is by changing up the “dance”. If you want it to be a connection dance, then lead the way by not nagging, giving positive affirmations, and showing some genuine affection. Most times your spouse will start to reciprocate and follow your lead.
Don’t be disheartened if it does take a while though. Sometimes people have trouble trusting the change in the dance and have to “learn” some new steps. Doing some therapy might help figure out if there are any unresolved issues that keep your partner on the side lines not dancing.
Remember you only control you. Do everything YOU can do with consistency and enjoy your dance!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Communication, Family Issues, marriage, Marriage Counseling, Relationships | No Comments »
Do you have a peaceful quiet place where you can genuinely say you feel centered and happy? For some it is by a warm fire. Others like a hot bath. I’ve found two peaceful places in my life time.
One is on the beach- almost any beach- specifically with my family. And the other was when I was 13 and taking a hike in the Swiss Alps (I did many mission trips around the world in my teen years which gave me chances to see some amazing things.)
In both of these happy places I realize how small I actually am. The ocean and waves are so powerful and the mountains seem enormous to little old me.
Realizing my smallness gives me perspective in life…that my worries and concerns really don’t matter all that much in the scheme of this big world.
Being in powerful parts of nature helps me let go and just be. I breathe in the beauty around me and find an intense spiritual connection. It’s as if with each exhale my stress leaves me and I can be completely me.
I hope you have had moments in life where you have found a happy place. If so I encourage you to visit it often- whether in your reality or in your mind- to find the peace and calm. It might also help to have a picture of your happy place to look at often. Just a visual escape might do the trick to help you experience a glimpse of what it feels like.
If you’ve never found a happy place, I encourage you to imagine one. Create the fantasy place in your mind and go there often.
Life is too stressful. We all need to love ourselves by taking breaks and getting rejuvenated every once in a while. What are you waiting for?
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Healthy Living, Stress | No Comments »
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