IHCG – Teri Claassen's Blog
Imagine Hope Counselor
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I love spending time with my husband and kids. I truly love my job. I love how I feel after a run. I love deep conversations about life with my husband. I love hiking. I love exploring the outdoors and small towns. I love cooking and trying new recipes. I love the idea of sitting and drinking coffee for hours with a friend. I love writing. I love reading books and learning new concepts. I love teaching my kids something new and playing with them. The list could go on and on…
Look at all these things I “LOVE”. That is what makes it so hard for me to choose my time wisely. There are so many options of what I could do, I don’t get a chance to do them all very often. Besides if I did them all, I would be stretched too thin and be overwhelmed.
The key to prioritizing is finding balance. This is a hard concept to master, but with practice can get better. You have to weigh how much you “need” things verses the reality of how much time you spend doing it. Many times it comes back to setting limits with myself and others in order to have enough time to do the things I “have” to do and “love” to do. Try making a priority list and then go back over it and ask yourself how much time you really spend doing those things. If the amount of time spent isn’t matching with the importance of the priority- you may be out of balance.
Although balancing is hard and we often fall, we can always get back up and try again. Balance is key to helping us live successful and happy lives.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Family Issues, Goals, Parenting, Perfectionism, Relationships, Stress | No Comments »
Do you have a constant conversation in your head? Do you ever slow down to listen it?
Funny concept, huh? But in reality most people are so used to the chatter in their head, that they have no clue how much they are listening to it and reacting to it.
For example, if Jane is talking to her husband and he seems distracted and uninterested. Jane might say this in her head… “Seriously? Does he even care? All I want is to get him to connect with me and he isn’t even listening. He is so annoyed by me. I wonder if he even loves me anymore.” Then when he asks her something later, Jane might react with a cold, negative tone because she thinks that he thinks all of the things she just said in her mind are true.
Did you catch the confusion? “She thinks that he thinks….” Mind reading is dangerous and can lead to miscommunication and a lot of hurt feelings that are rooted in assumptions- not truth.
So be careful when the chatter starts down a mind reading path. You might end up with heart ache from listening to the voices. Instead tell the voices to quiet down and talk to the other person about how you feel and what you need from them. Clearing up assumptions is always a better path!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Codependency, Communication, Relationships | No Comments »
We all have dreams throughout life that we think “If only this would happen, life would be perfect.” That dream being fulfilled is our answer for contentment and our signal to actually start living and loving our lives.
Whether it is having the perfect relationship, a better job, a certain amount of money, a bigger house, or kids that behave, we all have ideals that “if only” they happened life would be good.
But how often are those dreams actually fulfilled? Are they even realistic or attainable? The problem is we sit around waiting for these dreams to come true and in the mean time life passes us by.
I love the book “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. The following is a quote from this book, which depicts this concept:
“Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time- when pursued like a bandit- will behave like one; always remaining one county or one room ahead of you, changing its name and hair color to elude you, slipping out the back door of the motel just as you’re banging through the lobby with your newest search warrant, leaving only a burning cigarette in the ashtray to taunt you. At some point you have to stop because it won’t. You have to admit you can’t catch it” (p 155).
I’m not saying we should stop dreaming; I am saying we need to stop chasing unattainable dreams that leave us unhappy if they don’t come true. Just remember the danger of chasing the life of your dreams too hard. You might end up loosing your chance to live it.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Goals, Perfectionism, Stress | No Comments »
Do you expect people to not be human? Do you get irritated by them when their humanness shows?
I love books like “Everyone Poops” by Tarō Gomi and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum, where they normalize being human. Everyone poops, so there is nothing to be ashamed of!
But do we really accept other people’s humanness? Or do we judge them?
I hear clients day after day who are upset and deflated by people’s humanness. They hold certain people at such a high standard, that they are disappointed when they make a mistake and are human. They dictate “shoulds” that everyone needs to follow, and get irritated when people aren’t doing what they “should” be doing.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards for people (especially in close relationships), but I do think it is important to take a look at your standards and see if they are too high or set at a level that the other person isn’t capable of reaching them.
Ask yourself, “Do I expect people to be super-human?”Asking this can protect you from big let downs and frustrations.
Remember everyone poops, everyone sees things differently, everyone has stinky breath in the morning, everyone makes mistakes, everyone hurts someone they love sometimes, and sometimes we just have to accept people for being human! No one is perfect- not even you!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Healthy Living, marriage, Parenting, Perfectionism, Relationships | No Comments »
My kids are sick…..At least they are extra cuddly.
It’s storming outside…At least it is cozy inside and I am safe and dry.
I’m in physical pain…At least I’m breathing.
They are mad at me….At least I know what not to do next time.
My kids are growing too fast….At least I get this time with them.
My car broke down…At least I have loved ones to help take me places.
You have a choice of how you look at things…positive or negative. Bad things happen. That is reality. But the way you see them is your choice. The way you react is totally up to you.
Practicing an “At least” philosophy can be a powerful way to live. It gives you the chance to see hope in everything. It’s not just about having rose colored glasses, it is about choice and control in you and your reactions.
Not everything is rosy- but not every thing is black either. Living in reality is about rolling with the stinky parts of life and seeing them as an opportunity to become better, lean on others, grow, and heal, etc.
Being stuck in a poor me/ victim mentality will only cause you to wallow and become bitter. Practice an “At Least” Philosophy today to see a big change. It’s time for some new lenses in life!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Depression, Faith-Based Living, Healthy Living, Stress | No Comments »
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