IHCG – Teri Claassen's Blog
Imagine Hope Counselor
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This phrase has come out of my mouth many times…Why? Because bad behavior produces bad behavior. But why do people respond this way?
It is hard for people to calm their reactivity when they feel wronged. Revenge is typically the natural response.
It goes back as far as childhood…”But he hit me first”. Which ends with both kids in trouble because they both made bad choices!
Do you do this in your relationships? Do you “hit back” in order to seek justice? But does your wrong make their wrong better or make you feel better? NO! Now your bad choice becomes the focus and can be added to the fight.
I know it takes a lot of self control and awareness to control your reactions, but I encourage you to slow down your responses. It only complicates things when you have a flurry of bad choices flying around all at once. This leads to a nasty blame game!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Boundaries, Communication, marriage, Marriage Counseling, Parenting | 1 Comment »
There are several times a week I say the words, “I know it may seem hard to believe, but if you just try this, things will start to get a little bit better.”
There are many words of advice that I give people who doubt that the outcome can bring better results. Some clients have trouble trusting and resist. Fear of failure, the unknown, and getting uncomfortable constantly get in people’s way when in the recovery process.
My husband had knee surgery last year. During his recovery, his therapist had to help him trust that his knee was strong again. He had been unable to use his leg for such a long time that he had to retrain his brain’s ability to trust that his leg was healed after surgery.
This was a huge turning point in his healing. Once he got through his fear that it would hurt, get re-injured, or that he would fall if he put pressure on it, he became confident again in using his leg.
Do you need to re-train your brain’s ability to trust in the recovery process? Are you holding back from doing what you know you should do because of fear? If so, it is time to start realizing that what you have believed was okay to do is what got you to where you are now. Maybe it is time to stretch yourself and trust. It could open a whole new world of possibilities for you!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Addiction, Affairs, Codependency, Communication, Depression, Fear, Goals, Infidelity, marriage, Parenting, Perfectionism, Relationships, Substance Abuse | No Comments »
How many times in my life have I said these words to myself trying to convince myself to believe it… In college one of my friends even joked with me that I was as bad as Oprah with dieting.
My weight can fluctuate drastically within a matter of weeks. I’m great at gaining weight and I have tried to learn the many strategies to loosing it. Up and down. Up and down. My whole life.
I recently finished Lysa Terkeurst book about a faith-based perspective on food addiction and emotional over-eating called Made To Crave. There were many relatable stories and applicable ideas to work into my constant battle.
This quote was one of them: “Focusing only on what we’re giving up will make us feel constantly deprived. And deprivation leads to desperation, frustration, and failure. Instead, we have to focus on everything we’re gaining though this process. And see the gains as more valuable than the losses” (p.181).
I know the are many of you struggling the way I have through the years. All I can say is the one thing that finally clicked for me about 5 years ago is that I have to love myself more than I love food. I’m not saying I don’t still struggle. But it seems my struggles have become less intense and I am able to refocus before I’ve gone totally over board. Gaining a self-respect and love for myself has been better than any food tastes. It feels much more fulfilling than the taste of any food.
No matter the struggle you have, remember to treat yourself kindly in a physical and emotional way. Your body is with you every step of the way- treat it with love.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Addiction, Boundaries, Depression, Goals, Healthy Living | No Comments »
Comparing can be a slippery slope ending in dissatisfaction, discontentment, and depression. So why do we do it so often? What do you gain by comparing yourself?
If only I was like him…If only we had a bigger house like the one down the street…If only my kids acted better like hers…If only my marriage was like theirs…If only we had endless money…If only _____, THEN I would enjoy my life, feel loved, be satisfied, be happy and secure.
Sounds like people who think this way have their happiness controlled by too many “if only’s”.
Focusing on the “if only” keeps you from focusing on what you DO have in your life. Stop worrying about all the things others are doing and start focusing on what you are doing. Life is happening all around you. There are so many things you have that are blessings. Don’t ignore them and devalue them by getting lost in comparisons. Reality is that everyone has issues even if they “have it all”. Contentment starts from the inside and by valuing life for what is it- not for what it could be.
Don’t be paralyzed by “if only’s”. It is time for you to get out there and live your life. Reclaim it instead of giving it away to the “if only’s”. Look around and see ALL that YOUR life has to offer!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Posted in Codependency, Depression, Faith-Based Living, Goals, Healthy Living, Perfectionism | No Comments »
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