Last year’s Mother’s Day will not go down in history as my best one ever. Because of things totally out of our control, Mother’s Day 2010 left me somewhat disappointed.
As Mother’s Day last week was approaching I was somewhat anxious that history would repeat itself. But I chose to have a new mindset. My expectations were very simple and I made sure my self-talk was focused on living in the moment and embracing every second of the day- no matter what it brought. And much to my relief, it was awesome!
One of the key things that helped make this day better than last year was that I talked about my expectations in an honest way with my family. Sometimes people pretend that certain things are no big deal in their life, but in reality they have high expectations and end up disappointed if they aren’t met. Communicating your real expectations will help others around you know what you are needing from them.
The second thing that helped was that I lowered my expectations. I chose to “roll with the day”. If I had been woken up early by kids, I would enjoy the snuggle time. If we weren’t able to go out to a meal all together, I would pack a picnic and go to the park. My “roll with it” attitude helped me stay in the moment, rather than longing for something different.
The last key thing that renewed my mindset was to choose positive self-talk. I used the phrase “at least” several times, which shifted my perspective to one of gratitude, rather than complaining. Gratitude keeps us focusing on positive things in our lives. For example, “The weather stinks, but at least it is warm and cozy in here. It’s a great day for cuddling on the couch.” Shifting the negative allows you to see the silver lining in the clouds above. It keeps you out of being in a victim role.
The day ended up awesome in every way from start to end! I had nothing to worry about. Using these tools made a huge difference in my satisfaction of the day and gave me a chance to fall deeper in love with my family. Holding onto a negative attitude would have kept me from feeling the love! I encourage you to use these skills in your life to give you more satisfaction too!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.