My toddler loves this question…”What’s your name?” Everywhere we go he connects with someone and wants to know his or her name and say “Nice to meet you.” What a lesson… everyone has a name. Everyone has meaning, value, purpose, and a story. I am reminded of the old song from the show “Cheers”- “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. And their always glad you came… You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name.” Our name is a part of who we are. It identifies us. When people know our name it makes us feel special, remembered, accepted, and important. There is a comfort when people know our name.

I used to volunteer my time with my church youth group and work with a small group of teen girls. One Sunday we watched a video and talked about our name and our identity. We discussed the different names we call ourselves based on our hopes, dreams, shame, experiences, etc. It was powerful to think that all of this good, bad and ugly stuff is wrapped up in our name- our identity.

When I first meet with a client I like to ask the question “Who are you?” when getting to know them. After I watch them fumble through and squirm a little bit, I help guide them in what I am looking for. It’s a hard question- but should it be? Think about how you would answer that question for yourself. Who are YOU? What’s your NAME?

My point in all of this is that we each have a name and identity. But if we don’t KNOW that name and identity and what that means for us, can we really be comfortable with anyone truly knowing our name if we don’t know it ourselves? Not knowing who you are blocks you from connecting to people. You can’t give part of yourself if you don’t know yourself.

So I challenge you to do this exercise. Answer these question: What’s my name?  I did this exercise in my journal and found it to be powerful. I revisit the list and add to it often as my identity is constantly evolving. Have fun on this journey of identity and remember if you don’t like what it means to be you- YOU are the only one who has the power to change it!

Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling.  Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.