IHCG – Tammy Wilhelm's Blog
Things that make me go hmm…..
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Every time I hear this song, it makes me think about how we can become naturally self-absorbed and be unaware of the needs of others at times. The artist, Matthew West, does a great job reminding us to “wake up” so-to-speak and realize that in this world, it is not just about “me”. Enjoy the following lyrics.
My Own Little World by Matthew West
In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry or always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population me
I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ’til it hurts
and I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
it’s easy to do when it’s
population me
What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world
Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
Outside the car, saw a sign, said “Help this homeless widow”
Just above this sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
in my own little world there’s
Population two
What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world
Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Tags: matthew west, my own little world
Posted in Faith-Based Living, Healthy Living | No Comments »
A few weeks ago some of us from Imagine Hope attended the Women of Faith Conference. It was wonderful event and rejuvenating for our souls. One of the speakers, Henry Cloud, spoke of having a “monkey” (aka, friend) with you when you do things in your life. The concept is that having friends helps you handle emotional and physical hurdles better than handling them alone. My coworker Natalie wrote a blog on this as well http://www.imaginehopecounseling.com/nkcblog/?p=559.
One of the first memories that came to mind as I listened to Dr. Cloud speak was my honeymoon. My husband loves water and loves to swim and snorkel. I, on the other hand, feel safest on the beach, on a towel, observing the water. I had promised my husband I’d grab some snorkeling gear and look around with him, but I just couldn’t do it.
It just so happened towards the end of our honeymoon week that some friends were going to be coming onto the same island we were vacationing on, and we were going to meet up. I decided to try snorkeling again, and with my friend by my side, I was able to do it. She went at my pace, talked me through it, and was there with me the whole time. I never felt alone, and I was so appreciative of her patience. If it hadn’t been for my “monkey”, I would have never gotten in that water!
I’m grateful & blessed that I have many different “monkeys” in my life. Who are the “monkeys” in yours? If you struggle to answer this question, then I encourage you to start developing a stronger connection with someone who is already in your life so that they can become a great friend. All it takes to start is asking, ”How are you really doing today?” Life is more joyous when we can share it with others.
Thank you for reading!
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Tags: friendships
Posted in Healthy Living, Relationships | No Comments »
Taking care of a yard is hard work. Through talking with various people, my husband discovered he missed the early Spring season to prevent the dandelions & other weeds from attacking our yard. He’d mow the yard, and the next day, yellow and white “flowers” would pop up everywhere.
He was told by several people, “You’ve missed your chance, it’s too late”. Here’s the thing I’ve come to know, love, and be cautious about with my husband: If you throw an obstacle in his way, he’ll still keep charging.
After a trip to the local hardware store, he finds out that it’s not too late, he can pick up with a mid-season treatment. And he did just that this weekend. Guess what? NO WEEDS!
Can you wait too long to start working on yourself?
Often times I hear clients say, “We should have done this years ago, we waited too long to save our marriage” or even ask, “Can I truly become a healthy person after all this time?”. Yes! I don’t ever believe it’s too late for anyone. If you are open to work and willing to change, I believe anything can happen.
What weeds are in your life?
What are the dandelions and crabgrass in your life? Is it being critical or bitter? An addiction? An affair? Depression or Anxiety? Maybe it’s grief or job dissatisfaction. Whatever your “weed” is, we all have them. Are you ready to start treating your yard (life/marriage)?
How do you start?
Just as my husband became frustrated with the way our yard looked, so do you have to become fed up with the weeds in your life or marriage. You have to be “sick & tired” of being “sick” and “tired”.
Next, you have to ask for help. Just as we headed to the hardware store for answers, so do you have to look for help. Maybe that’s a therapist, minister, friend, nutritionist or job coach. If you find non-encouraging people, stay strong! Don’t let that stop you. Trust your gut, don’t listen to the negative feedback.
Then, you have to do the work. You have to do the manual labor. It’s not a one-time thing either. Treating the yard may have been done this past weekend, but it’s something my husband will have to stay adamant about. Same applies to life. Getting help will require consistent work. But, you’ll have a beautiful “yard” at the end of it!
Whether your weeds are just sprouting or have been around for several years, there is hope. Good luck to each of you in your various yard work!
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Posted in Depression, Faith-Based Living, Grief Issues, Healthy Living, Infidelity, Marriage Counseling, Relationships, Sexual Addiction, Stress, Substance Abuse | No Comments »
It’s hard to believe it’s been this long, but 8 years ago this week I lost my father to cancer. What’s even harder for me to believe is how far I’ve come in my grieving process. When he first died, I couldn’t think past all the pain, tears and heartache I felt at the moment. Now, eight years later, I still have pain, yes, but less intensified.
Knowing this first week in March is coming starts for me in the middle of February. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, dread that “the day” is coming. Every time I write the date I know this week is getting closer and closer. I get more tearful, emotionally fragile and I miss my dad.
Now, 8 years later, I know I’m going to be ok when this week hits. But, for the 1-Year anniversary of his death? I was a mess! I took the day off work, didn’t get out of my pajamas and allowed myself to cry and grieve. I needed to get past that “first”, and then all would be better.
Anyone who has lost a loved one, or who has lost a sense of security in a significant relationship knows what I’m talking about. Feeling a sense of grief & loss around the anniversary of when you experienced the initial loss is natural and expected. The intensity will decrease as the years pass. Will you still feel sad and tearful? Yes, you’re human. Will you still be ok? Yes.
Remember that loss can come in different packages. It doesn’t have to be death. It can be finding out about a spouses infedelity, a parent’s divorce, a miscarriage, loss of a pet, anything. Give yourself some grace and time to work through it.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Posted in Grief Issues, Stress | 1 Comment »
So how does a Starbucks gift card create so much confusion around here? Let me explain.
We got 4 gift cards as a thank you from Susan Heid over at The Confident Mom for being guest bloggers on her site (check out her site at http://www.theconfidentmom.com it’s great!). We have a “system” here when we receive greeting cards or information in the mail that everyone needs to look over. It gets put into every one’s mailbox & once someone looks it over, they initial it and it gets put into the next mailbox and so forth. Easy, right? This particular day when the greeting card came with the gift cards inside, Natalie got it, then I received it, passed it along to Joleen, and Teri was the last one. However, by the time Teri got the greeting card, there was only 1 gift card left in it (b/c we’d all taken one beforehand) & she assumed only 1 was sent. Later that evening I find the card returned in my mailbox w/one gift card still in it. I was confused! Why didn’t Teri take the gift card?! Teri returned it back to me, figuring we’d split it up somehow between the four of us. Teri and I figured out the miscommunication and had a great laugh.
It got me to thinking how innocently things can be misunderstood just simply due to lack of communication. Teri couldn’t help it she didn’t know there were 4 gift cards! No one told her. We failed to look ahead and think of the end result & communicate the most important piece of information “take one and pass along”. How often does this happen in our life? Do we always give all required information necessary to decrease the likelihood of misunderstandings? More importantly, if a misunderstanding occurs, do you take responsibility for your part in it? At the same time, how often do we look at one small piece of information and take it to represent an entire situation, leaving out other very important pieces of information?
With our little Starbucks mishap, we were able to laugh hysterically about it. Hopefully you can too about your mishaps sometimes. And, thanks to Susan, we’ll be enjoying some lattes or chai’s in the meantime.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Tags: Communication, miscommunication
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
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