IHCG – Tammy Wilhelm's Blog
Things that make me go hmm…..
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A few weekends ago my husband threw a surprise birthday party for me, and had planned for a friend from high school visit for an entire weekend. I had no idea, no preparation time, and was completely caught off guard.
I’m a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen and when. I’m responsible. I’m reliable. I don’t do well when caught off guard. This weekend was a wonderful lesson for me (notice I didn’t say disaster). I was surprised with my friend’s visit right after work, and the worry immediately started. “Oh no. The house isn’t clean/The dog needs a bath/We have no groceries.” And so forth. I even found myself asking my husband (I was laughing when I said this), “Are there anymore surprises I need to know about? I feel as though I need to prepare for them!” LOL.
I had to stop myself throughout the course of the entire weekend and do self-talk to remind myself that I was supposed to be enjoying my time, not worrying about things that I could not control! It was too late to clean, give the dog a bath, and go to the grocery store! There was nothing I could do about it then. I needed be in the moment and enjoy what was going on right then. The purpose was to enjoy my friend! She didn’t care that there was mail on the table, etc… We were catching up & connecting. I am so grateful that I was able to talk myself off the “worry ledge” and be in the moment the whole weekend.
Can you relate? Do you worry about things of which you have no control? Do you get so far into the future with your worry that you miss out on what’s going on in the moment? Miss out on spending time with your children b/c you’re too busy cleaning or working or pleasing others? Or miss out on time with your significant other b/c you’re worrying about “what ifs” even though those ”what ifs” haven’t even happened, but you’re just trying to “prepare yourself”? It doesn’t have to be like this anymore. A great book that addresses this concept is Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind”. I hope you can find peace and talk yourself off that ledge too. You might find you feel happier (and can roll with surprises!).
Tags: anxiety, worry
Posted in Healthy Living, Stress | 1 Comment »
Here’s Imagine Hope’s recent blog on Susan Heid’s website, The Confident Mom. We’re honored to be guest blogger’s on Susan’s site (http://www.theconfidentmom.com). This month’s post is on Positive Parenting, and how Boundaries can help your child. I hope you enjoy! To read the post, click here: http://www.theconfidentmom.com/relationships/setting-boundaries-children/
Tags: children, parenting
Posted in Boundaries, Family Issues | No Comments »
As I was listening to a local radio station on my morning commute the other day, the radio personalities were discussing marriage. The women on the show were trying to convince the skeptical men that marriage was “just a piece of paper”…. as if this was all there was to the union of marriage.
To say that marriage is “just a piece of paper”, is like saying the Super Bowl is “just another game”, or that Jesus was “just a good man”. Seriously! There’s so much more to marriage than the certificate you sign the day of your wedding.
Marriage is a living organism if you will. It requires many things in order to survive. Some of these requirements include commitment, trust, forgiveness, hard work, compromises and love. Being a wife myself, if I were to fly by the seat of my marriage certificate, then I’d have one very unhappy husband on my hands, not to mention a slowly dying marriage.
Knowing how high the divorce rate is in our country, I do have to wonder if this is the very same viewpoint of others; The belief that marriage doesn’t involve work. We get out of our marriages what we put into them. I’m not saying that if you put in 100% it’s guaranteed to work – you also have to have a partner who’s willing to put in their share as well. But, marriage takes alot of time, energy & effort, and when we put in the work, the payoff is great.
Posted in Healthy Living, Marriage Counseling, Relationships, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Last weekend I attended the funeral of a man who was my father’s best friend growing up and throughout their lives. I wasn’t close to this man personally, and hadn’t planned on the day stirring up any sadness, but I was wrong.
It’s been over 6 years since I’ve grieved the loss of my father. I’ve gone thru the stages of grief:
- Denial
- Sadness/Depression
- Bargaining
- Anger
- Acceptance
I’ve been in the acceptance part for a few years now. However, with the grief process, it has a tendency to catch us off guard sometimes. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it, and random events can spark sadness, anger, and pull us out of our acceptance without our permission.
Preparing for the day I was so focused on thinking about the man who died, that I forgot about his daughter…that’s what created the pain for me. Seeing his daughter grieving the loss of her dad, entering this new “club” of people who have lost their parents, and I knew exactly how she felt.
So, what do we do when current situations open up old hurtful wounds? Don’t fight it. Allow yourself to cry, talk about it with a loved one…get the feeling out. As I said before, grief can catch us off guard and hit us for no apparent reason at all. With time, the intensity will lessen.
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Posted in Depression, Grief Issues, Stress | No Comments »
With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it’s amazing to see all the support, special events and education available. I’ve been surprised by all the involvement by various groups. Whether it’s seeing the staff at my local Kroger wearing their self-decorated pink shirts, or watching the last two NFL football Sundays with the pink hats, wristbands and shoes, it’s awesome how involved everyone gets.
This year for the first time I participated in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer walk downtown. It took my breath away as I saw the sea of pink behind me as I turned around and looked at all the other walkers/runners that day.
I’ve been blessed enough to be able to say that I don’t have any females in my life who have had breast cancer. I know alot of others haven’t been as fortunate. To those of you who have loved ones who haven’t been as fortunate, my heart goes out to you. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one to cancer. For those of you who have conquered this horrible monster, congratulations and God bless!
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Posted in Current Events, Grief Issues, Stress | No Comments »
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