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IHCG – Tammy Wilhelm's Blog

Things that make me go hmm…..

Change Your Perspective

September 20th, 2012

Have you ever been told you complain too much or focus too much on the negative? Do you find yourself wishing you could be more thankful or find the positive in things, even if they’re going bad? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you might need to change your perspective. This week I wrote an article for MarriageAdvice.com that address how to change perspectives.

Visit http://www.marriageadvice.com/2012/change-your-perspective/ to read the article. I hope you enjoy!

 

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

 

 

Every time I hear this song, it makes me think about how we can become naturally self-absorbed and be unaware of the needs of others at times. The artist, Matthew West, does a great job reminding us to “wake up” so-to-speak and realize that in this world, it is not just about “me”. Enjoy the following lyrics.

My Own Little World by Matthew West
In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry or always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population me
I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ’til it hurts
and I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
it’s easy to do when it’s
population me
What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world
Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
Outside the car, saw a sign, said “Help this homeless widow”
Just above this sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
in my own little world there’s
Population two
What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world
Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me.

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

Taking care of a yard is hard work. Through talking with various people, my husband discovered he missed the early Spring season to prevent the dandelions & other weeds from attacking our yard. He’d mow the yard, and the next day, yellow and white “flowers” would pop up everywhere.

He was told by several people, “You’ve missed your chance, it’s too late”. Here’s the thing I’ve come to know, love, and be cautious about with my husband: If you throw an obstacle in his way, he’ll still keep charging.

After a trip to the local hardware store, he finds out that it’s not too late, he can pick up with a mid-season treatment. And he did just that this weekend. Guess what? NO WEEDS!

Can you wait too long to start working on yourself?

Often times I hear clients say, “We should have done this years ago, we waited too long to save our marriage” or even ask, “Can I truly become a healthy person after all this time?”. Yes! I don’t ever believe it’s too late for anyone. If you are open to work and willing to change, I believe anything can happen.

What weeds are in your life?

What are the dandelions and crabgrass in your life? Is it being critical or bitter? An addiction? An affair? Depression or Anxiety?  Maybe it’s grief or job dissatisfaction. Whatever your “weed” is, we all have them.  Are you ready to start treating your yard (life/marriage)?

How do you start?

Just as my husband became frustrated with the way our yard looked, so do you have to become fed up with the weeds in your life or marriage. You have to be “sick & tired” of being “sick” and “tired”.

Next, you have to ask for help. Just as we headed to the hardware store for answers, so do you have to look for help. Maybe that’s a therapist, minister, friend, nutritionist or job coach. If you find non-encouraging people, stay strong! Don’t let that stop you. Trust your gut, don’t listen to the negative feedback.

Then, you have to do the work. You have to do the manual labor. It’s not a one-time thing either. Treating the yard may have been done this past weekend, but it’s something my husband will have to stay adamant about. Same applies to life. Getting help will require consistent work. But, you’ll have a beautiful “yard” at the end of it!

Whether your weeds are just sprouting or have been around for several years, there is hope. Good luck to each of you in your various yard work!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

My Christmas Miracle

December 14th, 2010

It all started with a text message from my mom a few weeks ago that read “I found baby jesus”. At first it didn’t make sense, then it all hit me. Let me explain.

When I was in kindergarten we all made our own Baby Jesus Christmas ornaments. It consisted of 1/2 a walnut shell stuffed with putty & a blue square piece of fabric placed on top (for a blanket). A piece of yarn was tied around it with a bent paperclip to hang on the tree. Pretty simple, right? But, this was my favorite ornament because I made it when I was a little girl, and what it represented.

Every year I’d hang Baby Jesus on the tree. When I went to college my family would keep my own personal ornaments back so I could hang them on the tree when I came home from school. We’d talk about how well Baby Jesus was holding up and how old he was getting. Then came the year my dad decided to clean the basement. In his overhaul of the basement, all the Christmas ornaments got thrown away….along with all our childhood creations as well! Let’s just say my mom wasn’t very happy.

Now, it’s been at least 9 years since the ornaments got thrown away, if not 10 years. After receiving my mom’s text message it was nice to know my Baby Jesus wasn’t at the bottom of some landfill decomposing! I had assumed my mom found a box of old ornaments, but that wasn’t the case. She found Baby Jesus by himself…..hanging on a random shelf in a closet. How did Baby Jesus find himself out of the Christmas box into this closet? Who knows. Do I believe in Christmas miracles? Maybe. All I know is that this ornament has been missing for over 9 years and now it has appeared. I’m definitely going to make sure it never gets lost again.

What’s your miracle this season? Remember, it doesn’t have to be huge and spectacular, just something that feels a bit magical. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counselingat Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

Graduation Day

July 6th, 2009

My little brother graduated from high school a few weeks ago. He was dreading the day, you could just see it on his face and hear it in his voice. Aside from the aches that come from pitching a baseball game the night before, he had an awful headache and didn’t really want to get out of bed that day. I kept thinking to myself,”Boy, you don’t even know how great college is going to be and how much life you have ahead of you!”

I kept thinking back to when I graduated from high school and how I didn’t think I was going to survive without my girlfriends and my small hometown. Guess what? I survived. Then when I graduated from college I couldn’t fathom how I was going to survive without seeing my roomate everyday and that college campus, and then with graduate school how was I going to possibly find a job when I had been in school for 24 years and start working? Guess what? I survived.

And then….when my dad died. I really didn’t know how I was going to make it. How was I going to function? I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy, but I did it. But I didn’t do it alone. It took family, friends, and most importantly God to get me thru that terrible time. Out of all of this I’ve realized that whether it’s a life change or a life-altering experience, there’s nothing that God hasn’t equipped me to survive thru it.

 

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.

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