A few months ago I heard a startling and sad statistic. Over $3million is spent EVERY SECOND on pornography. I’m not saying every person who spends money on pornography is an addict, but I am saying that alot of that money is being spent by addicts.
Some addictions can be abstained from, such as alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc. However, there are some addictions where there is a slippery slope and unclear boundary line. Some of these include sex, food & spending. With these 3, it would be ridiculous (and life threatening in the case of food) to abstain from them altogether. This is why it’s hard to find that “what’s appropriate?” line when it comes to sexual addiction.
We’ve seen relationships & marriages struggle and self-esteem be shattered by this sad, but widespread addiction. For the most part, it is generally men who struggle with the addiction, but there are women who identify themselves as sexual addicts. Wives have questioned their attractiveness and feel broken when facing a husbands sexual addiction. It’s not only important for the addict to get help, but those closely involved to seek healing as well.
If you find yourself struggling with this issue in your life & where that boundary is for yourself, then you might want to seek further information on this topic. Some good resources are Sex Addicts Anonymous, or either of these two books: Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes or a christian resource, Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker. A christian resource addressing this issue for women in a relationship with a male with a sexual addiction is Every Heart Restored by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker.
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
As an addict I can tell you that no one has ever died or gone crazy from not having sex. One of the first steps is you should abstain from sex with anyone for at least 90 days. Your wife plays a huge role in this because she has to understand it’s part of your recovery, so you must talk to her and there are SA meetings all over the city everyday. This is a very real very hard addiction to get control of. I have been in SA for a few years now and when I first started I did not want to admit I had a problem, but then I realized I did. I had to attend 90 meetings in 90 days and get my white book, get a sponsor. This addiction probably controls 80% of all men. I heard a statistic once that if 75% of men who call themselves Christians if they would stop buying porn forn one day they cripple the porn industry.
Straight out of the mouth of an addict.