Last weekend I attended the funeral of a man who was my father’s best friend growing up and throughout their lives. I wasn’t close to this man personally, and hadn’t planned on the day stirring up any sadness, but I was wrong.

It’s been over 6 years since I’ve grieved the loss of my father. I’ve gone thru the stages of grief:

• Denial
• Sadness/Depression
• Bargaining
• Anger
• Acceptance

I’ve been in the acceptance part for a few years now. However, with the grief process, it has a tendency to catch us off guard sometimes. It sneaks up on us when we least expect it, and random events can spark sadness, anger, and pull us out of our acceptance without our permission.

Preparing for the day I was so focused on thinking about the man who died, that I forgot about his daughter…that’s what created the pain for me. Seeing his daughter grieving the loss of her dad, entering this new “club” of people who have lost their parents, and I knew exactly how she felt.

So, what do we do when current situations open up old hurtful wounds? Don’t fight it. Allow yourself to cry, talk about it with a loved one…get the feeling out. As I said before, grief can catch us off guard and hit us for no apparent reason at all. With time, the intensity will lessen.

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.