Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
Virginia Satir was a pioneer in the therapy world in bringing amazing concepts to life to help individuals, families, and couples.
She looked at the importance of the “experience” of life and how to make it a positive one. She connected the importance of our 5 senses and what impact they have on our experiences.
The 5 Freedoms are affirmations to help people connect with their lives and survive what is going on at each moment.
We hope you can find the deep freedom that can come from each of these this week and can take a step back in your crazy life to make it as positive of an experience as possible.
Freedom #1: To see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was, or will be
Do you ever feel controlled by should’s? What about the pain of the past or fear of the future?
If so, you might need to spend time focusing on this freedom. Instead of “should-ing”, look around and see what IS right in front of you.
Instead of getting lost in all the pain of the past, focus on what you DO see and hear that is right here. The past can serve it’s purpose in directing you, but you need to heal from it not carry it with you. Living in the past robs you of today.
Instead of getting worked up about tomorrow, sit in today. Embrace it. Experience it. Don’t loose today because of what is around the corner. You will never get today back.
I hope you can find freedom in your life by being in the moment. This moment is what you have, don’t ruin it or loose it. Lean into it to see and hear all that it is and what it can mean for you in your life. There might be some powerful life lessons right before you!
Come back tomorrow for more!
*Adapted from Virginia Satir’s The Five Freedoms
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: Virginia Satir The FIve Freedoms Posted in Anxiety, coping skills, depression, Healthy Living, stress relief, ways to cope | No Comments »
4. Give Yourself a Break- You do not expect to be at your optimal self the day after a huge physical injury do you? Do not expect to be on your best game after an emotional injury like a divorce. This will take time to heal, just like a physical injury. Give yourself permission to not be a super hero right now. You may not function at optimal capacity and that is okay. You will heal and be able to resume all your responsibilities as before, after some down time. Set realistic expectations of yourself and be kind to yourself while you heal. Just because you do not see your emotional injury, does not mean its not there. In my experience, if you do not respect the healing process, it will not respect you!
5. Eat Well- This means “no” to devouring a whole bowl of cookie dough. Many of us either over eat, chose poorly, or simply under eat when we are stressed. Stress eating exacerbates emotional distress! Bad eating habits make bad feelings even worse. Eating healthy foods make our blood sugar remain stable and help avoid highs and lows. When our blood sugar is out of whack, our emotions almost always follow suit. So many events in your life may feel out of control right now. You can make a choice to control what you eat and make it nutritious for your body and soul. You don’t have to discount your comfort food entirely, but do not over do it.
6. Get outdoors- this one is my favorite to talk to clients about. There is nothing like being in the woods amongst tall trees or along a large body of water to make you feel so small. When we realize that we are pretty tiny in the whole scheme of the world, we also realize our problems are even smaller. So get outside, feel small, get some exercise while you are at it. The emotional benefits of exercise are numerous and unbeatable. Take a walk, ride a bike, go for a swim. Do what ever it takes to be active. Give yourself a gift every day of feeling healthy. When you do get outside and exercise, you eliminate one more thing that you can feel guilty about not accomplishing.
Please remember this is difficult stuff. You do not have to go through this alone. If you would like help with healing from divorce, please contact one of our therapists here at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. We are happy to help you walk this challenging path. Please check back as we continue to discuss ways to help heal through painful breakups and divorces. As always, thanks for reading.
*Sources:
helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_
relationship_breakup.htm
Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapy, family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield
Tags: break up, coping with divorce, self-care Posted in coping skills, Divorce, Emotional needs, Grief and Loss, Healthy Living, stress relief, ways to cope | No Comments »
Teri, Tammy and Natalie have shared some really helpful tips so far in ways to decrease Holiday stress, which helps each of us to enjoy the Holiday season better. Today I’m going to go over ways we can continue the tradition of giving during the holiday season without stressing ourselves and our bank accounts.
Tip number 4 is to watch your spending. Many times, we will spend excessive amounts of money we don’t have (or can’t afford) in order to please others. People pleasing through excessive spending not only is unnecessary, it can cause you so much more distress on down the road (e.g., conflict with your spouse and added stress when credit card bill come due, if people don’t have the gratitude you hoped and your hidden expectations set you up for disappointment, etc.). Along with spending excessive money during the Holidays, we also see many individuals who set themselves up for stress and disappointment when their expectations of presenting themselves as the “perfect family” arise. Don’t feel the need to have the perfect family portrait and Christmas Card, the perfect Holiday party with friends and family, or the perfect gifts. Remember that the Holidays are a time of shared memories with family and friends, and giving can mean giving of your time and self, not necessarily expensive gifts and lavish parties. Give hand-made gifts that also give a little part of yourself and your family to those you love (cookies or treats you make with your kids, a hand made ornament from your family). Offer an act of service to someone as a gift later on in the season (5 separate times you mow their yard in the spring and summer, re-potting a neighbors houseplants or helping them in their garden the following season). There are many ways to be creative with gifts that aren’t expensive, but give the gift of self, and continue to give throughout the year. Above all else, remember the true meaning of Christmas this Holiday season. Wishing you and your family stress-free and Happy Holidays from Imagine Hope Counseling Group!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: Christmas on a budget, Decrease Holiday Stress, tips to decrease holiday stress, Watching spending during the Holidays Posted in boundaries, Christmas, coping skills, Family Issues, Imagine Hope Counseling Group, stress, stress relief | No Comments »
Clients tell me all the time, “I hate the holidays”. There are many stressors as people are attending family gatherings and trying to meet everyone’s expectations for the season. This week Imagine Hope wants to share these blogs again that were originally posted 2 years ago. We hope this helps you stay focused on making this holiday season less stressful!
Keep your emotional boundaries firm
Being with family can often trigger old wounds, cause you to fall back into past roles from growing up, and end up with hurt feelings or fights. Because of this, it is key to set emotional boundaries. This is when you protect yourself emotionally from a person who isn’t safe for you. This could be someone who is overly critical and judgmental, creates emotional tension, or someone who triggers emotional pain or stress.
When setting emotional boundaries, you are surrounding yourself with an invisible shield of protection from the unsafe person. This includes lowering your expectations. You should expect them to be how they have “always been” and do what they have “always done”. If you expect it, it won’t hurt as bad. You have predicted the pain- so it has less of an impact. Lowering your expectations for the unsafe person to be somehow different this time will also help your shield to be stronger. This is a process of grieving that relationships may never be what you want them to. If you set your hopes too high that they won’t do what they always have done, then you are sure to be disappointed. It is common to say to yourself “Of course they did ____. That is what they do” when you have good emotional boundaries.
Stay tuned this week as we cover more ways to decrease stress, including financial tips, ways to not take on too much, and how to beat the need to have everything be perfect! Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: holiday stress Posted in boundaries, Christmas, Codependency, coping skills, Family Issues, Relationships, stress, stress relief | No Comments »
Have you identified the stressful areas of your life so far with this week’s blog topic? Stress is something that is almost inevitable in our society today. With so many areas of life to balance, stress is bound to creep up on us once in awhile! Today, we will continue with some additional areas that stress may be causing difficulty, and discuss some tips that can help you with each.
Time Management
It’s 10:30 at night, and you just got the kitchen cleaned up after doing 4 loads of laundry, writing a thank you card to a friend for a birthday gift, and getting the kids to bed. You still have a list of 10 different things that NEED to get done before the weekend, but your kids have back to back soccer games at different locations for the next 2 nights, of which you and your husband will split time, so one of you can be present at each of their games to support them (even though you and your husband haven’t seen each other alone since last weekend!). Since you work full time and spend lunch hours running errands, this leaves tonight to get the house cleaned before company comes, among the other 9 things on your list. Sound familiar? How in the world do we manage time with the schedules we try to keep?! When working on time management:
- Prioritize your list of things to do. As you complete them, cross them off the list. Try not to keep adding things, which will only result in feeling more overwhelmed… and more stressed!
- Say “no” whenever you reasonably can. This can be much more difficult than it seems sometimes, but try not to take on more than you can handle. Assess your limitations (physically, emotionally, and mentally), and if saying “yes” exceeds your limitations, decide to “opt out”. Ask yourself if the quality of your commitment will be worth the quantity of your time– especially if you have very little left in your emotional bank account to give.
- Plan your tasks during the time of day where you have the most energy. If you are a night owl, try to plan accordingly. It will only increase your stress if you set yourself up to fail by planning to get up 2 hours early when you are a night owl!
- Recognize the various ways you might be likely to “lose” time during the day– e.g., Facebook, Twitter, television, etc. Everyone needs “down” time to relax, but if they are adding up to a great deal of time that you end up trying to play “catch up” to, try and cut back on the amount of time you spend with each.
- Work on “good enough” vs. attempting “perfect”.
Diet and Nutrition
- Try to establish a healthy diet that is balanced with fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meat and beans. It’s amazing how diet can impact our sense of well-being.
- Limit caffeine and sugar intake.
- Use vitamin and mineral supplements that are best for your age, gender, and ones that take your specific needs into consideration.
Good Night’s Sleep
- Work on good “sleep hygiene”: Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. Sleeping in can confuse your body, and some sleep research suggests that we can’t “make up” for lost sleep. Furthermore, some research on the brain suggests that different stages of sleep are where we “take off our emotional day”– almost like how we take off the dirt of the day with a shower/bath, only for our emotions! If we aren’t getting adequate sleep (and if we are already stressed), our brain doesn’t have the chance it needs to “take off the emotional day”, which will only result in more stress on top of the stress already present!
- Avoid eating, drinking alcohol, caffeine, or tobacco- particularly close to bedtime. Anything that stimulates our nervous system can impact our sleep patterns.
- Best practice is to get eight solid hours of sleep per night, but if this isn’t do-able, try to take a 15 minute nap during the day.
- Have a ritual before bed that helps you relax and prepare yourself for sleep– a relaxation routine. Use meditation, read a book for a set amount of time (or until you get sleepy), take a hot bath or shower, or listen to relaxing music.
Other Options
- Take a vacation– even if it’s a min-vacation or a ”stay-cation”. Getting away can help to let go of stressful situations and stressors that are present in our everyday environment. Sure, they will more than likely still be there when you return, but the ”time off” might do wonders for your stress level!
- Spend time with healthy friends doing something fun and relaxing– or renew your spirit by going solo to a retreat that focuses on some sort of self- improvement and relaxation.
- Do some sort of self-care routine: Go to a spa for a facial, massage, pedicure/manicure, or body buff.
- Have sex. Believe it or not, an orgasm from sex can release endorphins that relax the body and help to create a sense of well-being!
- Look into professional counseling. We aren’t just saying this because we are therapists! Counseling is like the “gym” for your spirit and emotional well-being. Self-awareness and growth help to take care of ourselves, which means we have less stress, and that means we can be more productive and effective in other areas of our lives.
Have you noticed any of these areas that might help you with your stress levels? As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day… and stress doesn’t disappear overnight. As you slowly start to incorporate more stress-reducing tips in your life, it will hopefully become part of your everyday routine. As always, thank you for joining us this week!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: coping with stress, reducing stress, stress, stress management, Stress reduction Posted in Anxiety, coping skills, Healthy Living, stress, stress relief, ways to cope | No Comments »
Now that we know what stress is (good stress and bad stress) and have recognized different stressors in life, it is time to learn to cope with it. It’s inevitable, right? So we need to learn positive ways to cope.
Positive Coping Skills
They say “Laughter is the best medicine” and I would have to agree.
Have you ever noticed your body after a good laugh? It feels relaxed! After a great laugh I feel ready to take a nap! That’s because it is relaxing. Your body actually responds to laughter with chemicals that cause you to relax. So here are tips on things to do to encourage this:
1. Be intentional to give yourself a daily dose of laughter everyday- whether it is a comic, a book of funny sayings or pictures, or a funny TV show.
2. Make sure your movies have a mix of comedy in them. Those of us introspective people tend to focus on dramas or something that is educational. Give yourself permission to watch comedies too!
3. Pass along funny emails or jokes to friends and family (tasteful ones of course )
4. Learn to laugh at yourself! Don’t take everything so seriously.
Journaling is a great stress relief!
1. Journaling is a great way to learn about ourselves and get our feelings/thoughts out of our head and onto paper.
2. Write about your dreams- keeping your journal by your bed at night. Write as soon as you wake up. This can create self awareness.
3. Write about anything you want, as long as you want. This is for YOU and you only.
Breathe! Breathing and Meditation are vital to stress relief!
1. Be aware of your breathing and consciously take breaths in and out. Blow out (like a candle) and breath in thru the nose.
2. Meditation is great because you can be anywhere and do it anytime. Focus on positive thoughts (or prayer).
3. Be comfortable when you practice breathing and meditation, if possible.
Exercise!
1. Exercise 3 times a week for 30 minutes for stress relief.
2. Pick something you enjoy, if possible, like walking if you like outdoors.
3. Get a partner or join a class to help you stay on track.
4. Exercise releases chemicals in your body that fight anxiety and depression.
This seems like a lot of information. I encourage you to pick one or two things to start practicing. Then once you have made them a part of your life, add another. It’s amazing what a couple of these things can do.
Tomorrow Joleen will give us more ways to cope. Thanks for reading! Have a relaxing, stress-free day!
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
Posted in stress, stress relief, ways to cope | No Comments »
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