Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
How To Tame Your Dragon
The main lesson from How To Tame Your Dragon is Be true to yourself!
The main character, Hiccup, is a Viking who is supposed to learn how to fight dragons to protect the village. When he gets his first chance to do this, however, he ends up saving the dragon, Toothless, instead. Hiccup says he isn’t like the rest of the Vikings. He has the courage to stand up for himself and what he believes in!
Another important lesson is that what we think is going on, doesn’t necessarily mean thats that’s what is happening! The dragons are hunted in the village because they keep attacking the villagers. We find out that the reason they attack the village is because they are taking food back for the big dragon that is bullying them. If they don’t comply, the bully dragon will eat them! They aren’t doing it because they are mean– they are doing it out of fear. This teaches us that when we see someone ‘s behavior that seems unfavorable, often times, there is pain underneath what they are doing– even if it’s not okay!
What lessons have you learned from a children’s movie?
We thank you for reading and look forward to seeing everyone after the Christmas Holiday!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Posted in Adult Play, Lighten up, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Teri and Tamara helped us set some safe ground rules and boundaries for Facebook. Now let’s talk about how we can use it to have more connection and fun in your marriage.
Comment on your spouse’s posts. People like it when others “like” or comment on their posts. If your partner says something cute or funny, let them know you think so too. Simply liking your partner’s comments let them know you are paying attention and thinking about them. But do not get carried away! When you like every single post or picture your partner posts, it can be annoying. To go along with what Tamara reported yesterday, Facebook is not the place to argue, so keep your comments sweet and fun!
Flirt with your spouse. You can use the private message feature to send steamy and fun personal messages to your spouse! If you want to make it spicy- be sure to use the private message feature, not to post publicly on your love’s wall. His boss or her father will not want to read those juicy tidbits of intimacy! You can use the Facebook Wall to tag your partner in your post or send less steamy but fun flirty messages to let your spouse know you are thinking about them and you want to keep them included.
Facebook is a way to enhance connection. It does not stand alone. Make sure you do as much face to face flirting and connection as possible!
Adapted from Yourtango.com
Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapy, family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield
Tags: Facebook, facebook and your marriage
Posted in Adult Play, Relationships | No Comments »
You’ve heard the saying, “The grass grows where it’s watered”. As with grass and plants, so it is in our relationships. The more effort and time you give to it, the more it will grow and weather life’s challenges. That’s why I love this weeks topic. It’s not just about sex, it’s about keeping the relationship ALIVE!
Flirting You remember how to flirt, don’t you? Remember the good ole days when you would look at each other across the room and know what you both were thinking? It’s easy to get into a rut and just glance to let the other one know, “Hey, yo! It’s time to go!” One way of flirting is to actually gaze at them. Make them wonder what you are up to!
Wink at them This is another fun one. When you are walking thru the house, wink at them. Rather than just pass them by, wink, pat them, or blow them a kiss. When you are listening to your kids argue at the dinner table, start playing “footsie” under the table. I know, I know. It’ sounds cheesy. But this is the fun stuff we used to do when we were dating. You couldn’t keep your hands or eyes off each other. It really will bring some playfulness back into the relationship instead of keeping it so serious.
Text Messaging Earlier in the week, Tamara mentioned texting when apart. I think this is a great idea! Flirt with that as well. Or better yet, when your spouse is upstairs and you are downstairs, doing separate things, send them a fun or sexy text. It’s funny to hear the chuckle when they receive it. And again, it keeps things not so serious.
Mirror Messages You know one of the best ways to send a creative, fun message? Write it on their mirror in the bathroom (or car). Just a simple “I love you” or “Have a good day!” will brighten things up and can create a good feeling with your spouse. If you want to get real sexy, use your bright red lipstick! This will send a message to him that is more than “Just thinking about you!”.
There are so many creative ways to flirt. It’s a natural process of dating, so just remember back to that. Get cheesy, have fun, and lighten things up. You just might find your tired self in the mood to act young again!
Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more tips tomorrow as Joleen finishes out our blog.
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
Tags: creating fireworks in your marriage
Posted in Adult Play, communication, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
” Wanna Dance?”
Are you feeling romanic? Are you wondering how to seduce your man? There is a reason why it is called the dance of seduction. Seduction can often be a game, or dance if you will. The first thing is to figure out if your man wants to dance! Men are not famous for turning away sex, so the odds are in your favor that he will respond positively. Remember, men are biologically programed to want and be ready for sex with little notice or prompting. But that does not mean that they don’t like the chase. And lets be honest ladies, we like to be chased. We like the mystery, the fun, the connection and engagement that comes along with the chase. It makes us feel special and valued.
If you are ready to take the next step in your relationship and take it to a physical level, let him know! You do not want to be “easy”, so you can let him know with the word, “maybe”. Will you meet him for a drink? Maybe. Would you like to go over to his place? Maybe. Would you be interested in a back rub? Maybe. Maybe offers hope for a yes without dousing his confidence, but enough of a no to keep him working! If you are already in a long term relationship, sit next to him on the couch and give him small flirty kisses and be playful. Let him take it from there. For men, the visual and physical touch is much more stimulating than the verbal suggestions. So instead of telling him you want to make love, show him, preferably with nudity!
Continue to check in as Natalie and Joleen talk more about how to get through to a man. As always thanks for reading!
Source: “How to Get Through To A Man” by W. Bruce Cameron from O’s Guide to Life; The Best of O, The Oprah Magazine p. 211-212
Written by Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapy, family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield
Tags: ea, romance, seduction
Posted in Adult Play, Love, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
It is never surprising to us when couples come in with challenges they are having that revolve around not getting their needs met. Besides communication, this is usually an issue in a struggling relationship. It’s so wonderful to see the change in a couple as they begin to recognize each other’s needs. It’s universal- we all have needs. I hope this week you have been able to see how normal and healthy it is to have them.
Accomplishment
It is important for humans to feel they have the opportunity to accomplish and to feel supported when they are trying to complete or master something. Accomplishing a goal helps others feel in control of their lives and often empowers them to continue doing sometimes difficult and challenging tasks. It inspires them to move forward and do things they didn’t know they could do. Everyone wants to feel they contribute to something or someone. Accomplishments give us that feeling.
Enjoyment/Fun
We have a biological need to sometimes “get away” or escape from reality. This is actually a healthy thing to do when it’s done in an appropriate way. Daydreaming, laughing, playing or watching sports, concentrating on a hobby, or sleeping are examples (if done in moderation) of ways people appropriately escape. Think of how you feel when you wrestle with your kids or watch a good movie. You feel like you have removed yourself, if only for a moment, from the stress of everyday life. The ability to be spontaneouos and enjoy life and relationships is a need we all have. It brings to life that child within that we all still have. Many people that are very work-driven or task-oriented have difficulty letting themselves play. Actually letting yourself “get away” for a few minutes and having some fun makes people more productive. It’s important for all of us to remember to do this often!
Tomorrow Joleen will finish us out with our last basic needs. Thank you for reading this week.
Information adapted from Maslow, Miller, WEil, and Glasser
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
Tags: basic human needs
Posted in Adult Play, Family Issues, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
“Men do not quit playing because they grow old. They grow old because they quit playing.”- Oliver Windell Holmes
How many times has someone told you to act your age? I always found this to be confusing since there is really no accurate model or measuring tool to judge what a person should act like at a certain age. When it comes to play beyond age 10, there are no benchmarks, no way to measure what a 37 year old woman should act like.
As children, if we are lucky, we are allowed to and even encouraged to play. Somewhere in the space between adolescence and adulthood (a debatable time frame indeed), we become focused on work and responsibility. Play takes the role of a lesser priority. There is simply less time and more obligations. Like other self-care activities, like healthy eating, exercise and sleep, play has many benefits to strengthen and lengthen our lives.
Some lifelong benefits of play are:
- Play fosters creativity, flexibility, and learning
- Play is an inexpensive and drug-free antidote to anxiety, depression, and isolation
- Play connects us to others
- Play teaches perseverance
- Play teaches us how to lose gracefully
- Play makes us happy
Do you remember how to play? Do you know what made your heart soar and brought pure delight? Do you know what your partner loves to play? Have you played with him or her since you were dating or since the kids came? Playing with your partner brings joy, drops defenses, heals old wounds, fosters connection, and builds trust to try new things. Play provides the context for learning about our partners and ourselves.
It is human nature to play. When we are able to be in the moment and enjoy our play, there are no boundaries, no repression, just joy. We are not thinking about the past or planning for the future. We are able to be present with that moment on our lives.
Do not spend time or money searching for the fountain of youth. It is inside you. Play in it!
Written by: Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed therapist and Registered Play Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Alexa enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Alexa also does play therapy, family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield
Tags: adult play, Oliver Windell Holmes, playful couples, quotes
Posted in Adult Play, Lighten up | No Comments »
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