By now, you have read about the other 4 Love Languages:  Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch.  The 5th Love Language is Quality Time. 

Quality time is focused and undivided attention, where you go to the other persons emotional level to connect with them.  Simply stated, it is the gift of presence.  Quality time means putting away the cell phones and computer related gadgets, turning off the TV, and focusing exclusively on spending good, intimate time with your partner.  If you are communicating using the love language of quality time, it’s important to have direct eye contact, and listen with no distractions.  Other examples of Quality Time could be spending time doing something together that your partner enjoys, such as cooking a meal together or having a regular date night as a couple.  I like to think of Quality Time as really making the commitment to entering your partners internal world through conversation, activities, and other ways of showing them you care about them.

For more information on Love Languages, we highly recommend the source for this blog series– “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.  It’s definitely a “must read” for couples and families!

Check back next week for our upcoming blog topic where we will discuss the different aspects of anxiety.

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.

Teri and Tamara have described the first three love languages: Acts of Service, Affirmations, and Giving Gifts. Today I want to talk about Physical Touch.

Love Language #4: Physical Touch

Many people get this one confused with sex. Yes, sexual intimacy is one way to speak to your partners love language if it is physical touch, however, it also includes holding hands, hugs, kisses, scratching their back….anything that you are doing to touch them. Touching them in the way they like to to be touched says, “I love you”.  It is important, as with the other love languages, to understand how your partner feels loved by this language. Do they enjoy hugs and kisses or do they like when you flirt with them by playing footsie under the table?

It is very important if your partner’s love language is touch to remember when they are going thru a crisis or a rough day, they may not need or want you to “fix” their problems. They may simply need a hug to know they are there.

Tomorrow Joleen will be discussing our final love language: Quality Time.

*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling.  We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.

We’re continuing our talk today on how we receive and show love. The next two love languages are:

2. Words of Affirmations. This includes giving verbal praise, compliments, encouraging/kind words, and humble words. Some individuals thrive on verbal praise and kind words. This can include complimenting someone on their appearance, letting someone know how much you appreciate them, thanking them for things they do around the house, or ways in which they are helpful. If you love someone who’s love language is Affirmations, then it’s important to remind yourself to speak kindly and lovingly to them often. This is how they feel loved and appreciated. Good ideas can be to write a love letter, compliment or thank your loved one daily, compliment your loved one in front of others, etc…

3. Gift Giving. This is wanting and showing love in the form of gifts. A gift is anything given to you/given to someone else to say “I was thinking of you”….a visual symbol of love. Gifts can be purchased (small or large) or handmade. There’s also giving the gift of self. This is giving the gift of your presence (physically & emotionally), or in other words, being there for your significant other when they need you. This can speak more loudly than buying the most expensive gift you can think of. As Gary Chapman points out in his book, The Five Love Languages, for some individuals gift giving has nothing to do with monetary value, and everything to do with love.

As always, make sure you have a good balance of showing your loved one how you love them in their love language, not how you would like to be shown love. Check back in the next few days as we go through the rest of the Love Languages!

Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA LMHC

*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.