Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
This week we are reviewing different Valentine’s Day gift ideas for your significant other, based on the 5 Love Languages. Do you know your significant other’s Primary Love Language? It could make a big difference this Valentine’s Day in your S.O. feeling appreciated and validated! Today we will review the last two Love Languages and gift ideas for each:
Physical Touch- A great gift idea for the spouse/significant other whose love language is physical touch is a gift certificate for a massage… by you! Give your significant other a gift “coupon” for a spa day, where you pamper him/her with different forms of touch: a foot massage, back rub, pedicure/manicure with hand massage, facial, scalp massage. Another idea would be a “back rub a week for a month” certificate, redeemable at your significant others request. On Valentine’s Day, wake your significant other up to a soothing back rub followed by a kiss on the cheek, and follow that by gestures of physical touch (hugs, kisses, holding hands) throughout the day (that are outside of the norm for your relationship). Show your spouse you are going the extra mile because you understand this is how he/she feels loved! Remember that the Love Language of physical touch doesn’t just include sexual touch– it’s much more than that!
Acts of Service- If your spouse’s love language is Acts of Service, write a list of “Honey Do” projects he/she has been asking you to do for months, and dedicate one whole day to accomplishing everything on that list! Give your significant other notecard “coupons” for a “day off” around the house: this would be a day where all they do is lounge around, while YOU take care of EVERYTHING around the house… from start to finish! The idea of a day off for your spouse would mean that they don’t lift a finger the entire day! This might include making breakfast for the family and cleaning up the kitchen, doing all of the household chores for the day/week (especially the ones your spouse really dislikes doing the most!), taking care of the kids, etc.. The idea of this love language is to communicate to your spouse that this is THEIR day to relax and to ease any form of burden or responsibility from their mind.
These are just a few gift ideas for the 5 Love Languages (based on the best selling book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman). We hope you found some of this week’s ideas helpful! We also hope you find joy in celebrating Valentine’s Day this year with your loved ones and family. Until next week, thank you for joining us!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: Love Languages, Romantic Gift Ideas, The 5 Love Languages, Valentine's Day gift ideas, Valentines Day
Posted in Imagine Hope Counseling Group, Lighten up, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
Wow! Teri had some GREAT ideas for Words of Affirmations. If you haven’t read her description yet of the 5 Love Languages, you may want to back up to Monday and do that. I am going to give you some ideas for Quality Time and Receiving Gifts.
Quality Time:
~The typical dinner date will do with this love language- however, try to find someplace quiet, without TV’s and distractions. That way you can chat. Quality Timers love to have, well…QUALITY time when they are with you. That means focused on the time together, not everything that is going on. Everything else can wait.
~Ask your partner out to coffee. Put away the phones/computers etc and just sit and chat. Have some questions available to start a conversation so the topic isn’t about work, the kids, or regular day-to-day stuff. Really find out some new information about them. Or reminisce.
~If you have children and can’t get a sitter, schedule a date at home. Put the kids to bed early, and play a game together. Leave the TV off and again, don’t forget to turn off your phone. Just enjoy laughing together and having a little friendly competition.
~If your partner is a sports fan, nothing screams QT to them like going to a sporting event. Surprise them with tickets and enjoy the time together, even if you aren’t a sports fan. It’s about BEING together for them.
~When it’s warm, have a picnic in a park. Go for a bike ride or a walk. Anything where it’s just the two of you.
~If your budget permits, schedule a weekend get away to a bed and breakfast.
The main key here is just the two of you, having focused time together, without distractions!
Receiving Gifts:
~I know Teri mentioned making something that doesn’t cost money is great as well. However, the gift of TIME can be so wonderful to someone who doesn’t have a lot of it. Taking the kids so they have some time to themselves. Or cleaning the house so they have time enjoy the weekend.
~If your spouse is exhausted with a new baby, the gift of rest. Give them the weekend to rest.
You can really get creative with this. All you have to do is ask yourself, “What is it that my partner needs the most right now? What are they struggling with the most? What do they complain about the most?” You will get your answer.
~Additionally, there are the traditional flowers, chocolates, and candy. However, if you’re going to spend money, how about a gift card to a Spa or to her favorite clothing store. Especially if your partner has trouble spending money on themselves (Most Mom’s struggle with this!). If your spouse loves sports, a gift card to Dicks or to BW’s and a card that says, “Go have fun with the guys and watch the game!”
~If you do jewelry, make it something that means something like her birthstone or the kids birthstones. Something that lets her know you spent some time thinking about it and didn’t just buy whatever someone at the counter suggested.
Hopefully you are getting some good ideas here! Tomorrow Joleen will finish up with Physical Touch and Acts of Service. Thank you for reading and Happy Valentines Day!!
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.
Tags: Gifts, Love Languages, Valentines Day
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Valentine’s Day is coming up and many feel pressure to find the “perfect” gift. This week Imagine Hope is giving you tips on what to give based on your partner’s love language. There is a great book that helps couples examine which love languages they speak: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We all have needs in relationships, and it is important to know what those needs are so you can make sure you are loving your partner the way they need to feel loved. Most of us receive love through five different love languages: Acts of service, Affirmations, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts. This book is an amazing tool for people to discover how they give and receive love. Today try to see which love language you think your partner speaks and keep reading all week for suggestions of gifts for Valentine’s Day that will really say “I love you”!
1. Words of Affirmation. This includes giving verbal or written praise, compliments, encouraging/kind words, and humble words. Some individuals thrive on verbal praise and kind words. This can include complimenting someone on their appearance, letting someone know how much you appreciate them, thanking them for things they do around the house, or ways in which they are helpful.
2. Gift Giving. This is wanting and showing love in the form of gifts. A gift is anything given to you/given to someone else to say “I was thinking of you”….a visual symbol of love. Gifts can be purchased (small or large) or handmade. There’s also giving the gift of self. This is giving the gift of your presence (physically & emotionally), or in other words, being there for your significant other when they need you. For some individuals gift giving has nothing to do with monetary value, and everything to do with love.
3. Acts of Service. Did you ever think you might be showing love to your partner by doing chores? The key is that your attitude is about doing the act of service out of love, not out of obligation. Make sure you get clarity on which act of service means the most to your partner. Don’t assume any act will show love. If this is your love language, make sure you teach your partner what this means to you and define the specifics around it.
4. Physical Touch. Many people get this one confused with sex. Yes, sexual intimacy is one way to speak to your partners love language if it is physical touch, however, it also includes holding hands, hugs, kisses, scratching their back….anything that you are doing to touch them. Touching them in the way they like to to be touched says, “I love you”.
5. Quality Time. This is focused and undivided time, where you go to the other persons emotional level to connect with them. Quality time means putting away the cell phones and computer related gadgets, turning off the TV, and focusing exclusively on spending good, intimate time with your partner. It’s important to have direct eye contact, and listen with no distractions.
Tomorrow check in for gift tips for Words of Affirmation!
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: five love languages, Valentine's Day gift tips, Valentine's gifts
Posted in Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
One book that I recently read and highly recommend is “Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love” by Scott Sells. This book offers a hands-on approach to parenting a teenager who is struggling with parental boundaries and exhibiting hurtful behavior towards themselves and others. One thing that sets this parenting book apart from others is the manner in which Scott Sells approaches his writing– he doesn’t just describe situations and give an interpretation of the problem– He offers direct feedback and solutions that parents can use with their kids. This book holds parents accountable for uncomfortable moments in parenting (e.g., specific techniques to setting firm boundaries) from a “tough love” perspective, combined with an approach (and specific techniques) to help the reader find ways to re-connect with their child/teen and find the “softness” in the relationship again. This book also addresses what your own parenting “hot buttons” are, which allows the reader to recognize when they are contributing to the relationship dynamics. Whether your parenting issues with your teen are just beginning, or if you feel at your wits end and have tried many things unsuccessfully, this book is definitely a ”must-read” for anyone who is struggling with parenting issues!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: boundaries with teens, discipline, Parenting, parenting teens, Parenting your out of control teenager
Posted in boundaries, Imagine Hope Counseling Group, Parenting | No Comments »
I cannot wait to read the books Tamara and Teri have recommended. They both look EXCELLENT! The book I want to recommend is one I read 6 years ago and still refer back to as a reminder for my thoughts.
Battlefield of the MInd by Joyce Meyer
In this book, she addresses how powerful our thinking is over our life and our emotions. The thing I love most about Joyce is that she has an amazing story of her own. It’s easy sometimes to read self-help books and feel the person is just coming from a clinical perspective. But knowing her story encourages each of us! If she can come from where she came and do what she is doing, any of us can change! She addresses several topics such as fear, anger, confusion, depression, worry, guilt, and doubt. She then gives practical solutions for how to change your thinking. I love this book because it is very much in line with what we teach at Imagine Hope. I like to recommend books that can enrich what we are teaching and what a client is working on. This is one of those books.
Tomorrow Joleen will share another wonderful recommendation. Have a wonderful Thursday! Thank you for reading.
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.
Tags: book recommendations, Negative Thinking, self help books
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One of books I’ve found to be wonderful and full of insight recently is So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. Beth addresses the main issue many women struggle with internally of insecurity. However, on the outside, this insecurity comes out as defensive, critical, controlling, & indignant behavior. In this book, Beth explores & welcomes the male perspective, how the men in each of our lives want to see us succeed and be full of confidence, & how they too struggle with insecurity. She points out that women cannot solely depend upon men (or other relationships) to provide their confidence or security because men too feel insecure at times…therefore, they have little to give women!
Beth Moore highlights roots of insecurity, whether it’s instability in the home growing up, abuse, rejection, personal limitations, our culture, or our pride. She also goes into great detail reminding us that our security is God given, no one can take that away from us. She gets the reader to the point of realizing you can only feel insecure if you give your security to others. There are so many wonderful things in this book, I cannot speak highly enough about it! One last thing though; Beth points out the difference between feeling sad, upset, confused, embarrassed & feeling insecure. We can experience all of these negative and uncomfortable emotions but we have the power to choose whether or not it attacks our security. Someone may hurt our feelings, intimidate us, embarrass us or criticize us, but we decide what happens from there. As Beth says, “My security is mine to keep. You cannot have it”.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Posted in Codependency, communication, coping skills, Faith Based Living, Relationships, Spirituality | No Comments »
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Teri Claassen's Blog
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