Let’s face it, women AND men are hard to understand sometimes. If only we could read each others minds, it would be so much easier! There are some specific gender differences which can make it complicated to truly connect with and “get” each other.
W. Bruce Cameron wrote and article for O Magazine that shines a light on how women can get through to a man. This week we will be sharing Cameron’s perspectives to give all the ladies some insight.
“You’re So Strong”
The male ego can be tricky. Some days men want to be taken care of and other days they want to be in control. Which one is it?
Cameron advises that women make sure to “comfort wisely” in a way to not harm the ego. Males are taught not to cry and to “rub out their pain”. They are teased for being a sissy if they have an emotional reaction other than anger. Just because a man has physically grown up does not mean he has emotionally matured to not believe those lies.
When a man is having a tough time, it may be counterproductive to their pain by comforting them. By doing so, they may feel too exposed and vulnerable that they aren’t sucking it up enough.”Their pain is showing”.
Approaching a man’s pain by admiring his strength through the tough time can help their ego become confident again. It can help them feel like you believe in them and that their strength is showing in the midst of their pain.
I am not advising that you not comfort a man when he is overtly processing his pain with you, but I am saying that talking about his strength through it will help balance things out. Men tend to close off when they feel too exposed.
Note to men: It is OKAY to be vulnerable. Most women crave you to be more emotional. You can be strong and vulnerable at the same time!
Check in tomorrow when Tamara gives some alternative’s to nagging your man to do work around the house!
Source: “How to Get Through To A Man” by W. Bruce Cameron from O’s Guide to Life; The Best of O, The Oprah Magazine p. 211-212
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.