Teri, Tammy, and Natalie have all shared some great tips so far to fighting fair.  Here are a few more to add to your “marital toolbox”:

16.  Remember that fights aren’t always personal.  Many times the issue at hand is linked to some deep rooted unresolved issues.  Try to empathize with your partner as they are trying to heal from a painful past.

17.  Always consider compromise as an option.  It is also ok to agree to disagree about certain issues.

18.  Have a teamwork approach– and be on the same team!  If you look at problem solving from a team perspective, the issue will be resolved much quicker and easier.  Ask yourself what are you willing to do to solve the problem.

19.  Forgive each other and yourself.  Remember that no one is perfect.  Having expectations for your partner to be perfect will only result in disappointment and pain for you.  Each person has contributed to this problem in their own way.  Make sure you own your part of it and learn what you need to do differently next time.

20.  Remember that you won’t tackle all the giant issues in one sitting.  Allow yourself time to process the issue before committing to a solution.  Moving over an issue too quickly tends to breed resentment and rug sweeping.

If you need more tips for fighting fair, or if you are still struggling with unhealthy conflict in your relationship, feel free to give one of our relationship experts a call!

Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling.  Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.