As Teri and Tamara have mentioned, many of us were not taught how to handle conflict appropriately or effectively. Many of us learn the hard way or don’t learn at all. If you notice that you have a lot of anxiety regarding conflict and you don’t feel it gets resolved in your relationships very often, it’s important to see what part you play in it. Hopefully this week has been helpful in identifying that. Today we will discuss another unhealthy way to deal with conflict:
This is the opposite of competing. This person neglects their own concerns and needs in order to please their partner or the other person. They are self-sacrificing to a degree that they only think of pleasing the other person. They neglect to realize that by accommodating the person and sacrificing themselves, they become angry and bitter towers that person, which breeds more conflict for them!
Usually people who accommodate feel angry on the inside because they feel their needs don’t get met. What they don’t realize is their avoidance of conflict is creating the anger.
Do you ever feel angry but pretend to be fine after conflict? You could be an accommodator. If you identify with this, it might also be helpful to read our articles and blogs on codependency. Often the two go hand in hand.
Thank you so much for reading. Tomorrow Joleen will finish us out with one more type.
*Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville.