Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
Today we finish up with this weeks blog topic, adapted from W. Bruce Cameron’s article (reference below). What do you think of the tips so far?
“What a manly sweater!”
Cameron suggests that men want to hear words that sound masculine. This makes men feel good, and explains that giving compliments are like giving gifts; It’s important to give the gift that the Receiver of the gift would like, not the gift that the giver prefers to give! So… Simply put, telling the man in your life that you think he looks “cute”, probably won’t make him feel much like a man. And, as Cameron states, he wants to feel like a man! This doesn’t mean that the man in your life doesn’t have a feminine or sensitive side, it just means that this kind of compliment might not make him feel his best. And for those couples who struggle with the female knowingly demasculating their male counterpart (whether it’s through put-downs or other derogatory comments), remember that you are directly impacting your ability to feel heard, respected, and understood, as well!
Source: “How to Get Through To A Man” by W. Bruce Cameron from O’s Guide to Life; The Best of O, The Oprah Magazine p. 211-212
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: communication, getting through to a man, marriage counseling
Posted in communication, Marriage, marriage counseling, Relationships | No Comments »
As therapists we many times see big issues in relationships start from a small mistake and grow into a bigger issue. Conquering the small issues is good prevention and protection for your relationship.
- Rug sweeping- Many couples will sweep issues under the rug instead of addressing them as a problem. People fear being a “nag” or complaining too much, but if done in the right way it can enhance your relationship. The biggest issue we see with this mistake is that couples will let their issue grow into a resentment, which leads a relationship to not feel emotionally safe.
- Expecting one hour a week in therapy to “make it all better”- Therapy is similar to going to the doctor when you are sick. It isn’t the doctor that makes you feel “better”. He just gives YOU the advice or medication for YOU to make yourself feel better. It is YOUR choice to go home and implement what the doctor told you to do. The same is true with therapy. If YOU don’t do the things your therapist suggests outside of your sessions, you are choosing to not take control of your “feeling better”.
- Not talking about work issues with your partner- Many people say, “I don’t want to take work home”. I understand the concept, but think about it; when you add up the hours in a week that we spend working compared to anything else, work is what we do most our awake hours. So if we aren’t talking about work issues (struggles, joys, day to day happenings, etc.) then we are isolating our partner from one of the biggest parts of our life. This is a balancing act. You have to figure out what works best in your relationship, but sharing something and leaning on your partner about this area of your life in some way is important.
Written by: Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: communication
Posted in marriage counseling, Relationships, Therapy, Uncategorized | No Comments »
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