1. Find Some Stability- Throughout this process there will be alot of disruption. Lots of meetings with lawyers & mediators, lots of packing, lots of emotions. Try to find some sort of normalcy as much as you can. If that’s sticking to a routine dinner every Sunday afternoon with friends, or movie night with your kids on Fridays. Maybe it’s waking up 20 minutes early to meditate or pray to start your day off peacefully. Whatever it is, find the stability that works for you.
2. Set Up Your Own Space- When going through a divorce and afterwards, you’ll need to find a space that’s “yours”. Change your bedroom: move the furniture around, paint the room a new color, and/or get a new bedspread. Sometimes the bedroom isn’t the only room that needs a change. Other rooms in the house may need a change as well. You’ll need to take down pictures of you and your spouse. This is hard to do! Make sure you do it when you’re ready. If you have children, make sure you have pictures of both you and their other parent in their rooms. If you don’t know what to do with the pictures, save them for your children, they may want them someday. Re-arrange wall art. Move pieces of art around in the house to give it a fresh feeling.
3. Don’t Go Through This Alone- Surround yourself with a support system. A good, healthy, non-toxic support system. Remember, support systems are there when YOU need them, not when it’s convenient for THEM. Find family, friends, neighbors, church family and other divorcees you can call to vent, cry or ask for help. We were built to be in relationships, not to be an island trying to figure things out on our own.
If you are going through a divorce, we are sad to hear this. Hopefully today’s information, and the information presented this week can help you through the process. Thank you for reading.
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.