Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
What are some additional things you can do if you are searching for “Mr. Or Mrs. Right”?
Have realistic expectations. Things aren’t always a bed of roses, no matter how healthy a person might be. Don’t expect to have a “perfect” relationship. After all, we are all human! This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags or allow hurtful behaviors from a person, it just means that it’s important to not have unrealistic expectations.
Don’t negotiate your non-negotiables. If you feel strongly about a certain thing (for example, you could not date or marry someone who drank alcohol, had anger issues, or wasn’t faith-based– then don’t settle for less than this. This usually comes back to bite you, because we can’t change other people!
Be yourself. It’s important to let the other person get to know the “real you”. If you pretend to be something you are not, eventually the other person will see the real you and feel betrayed. Let the other person fall in love with who you really are!
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: FInding Mr or Mrs Right
Posted in Imagine Hope Counseling Group, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
#4- Don’t talk yourself out of pink and red flags
First of all, what are pink and red flags? Most of you know what a red flag is- it’s a phrase we use to say “caution” or “I need to take notice of this. Something is not right to me.” A pink flag is not quite that obvious but more a small feeling in your gut to pay attention. It’s not huge, but notable.
Now that we have cleared that up, listen to them when you are dating. Many people actually have good intuition and see/hear the flags- they just want the relationship to work out so bad that they are willing to talk themselves out of them.
Take note when you have these feelings. It is okay to question them, provide evidence for or against what you are feeling, and to talk to your potential partner about them. If they have a problem with you asking questions or talking about it- guess what- that’s a huge red flag!
#5 Be aware and address conflict when it starts happening
As a marriage therapist, we hear so many couples say they wish they would have had conflict before they got married to see how it would have been handled. Most couples actually DO have the opportunity for conflict, they just avoid it early in the relationship for fear of losing that person or pushing them away.
I would encourage you to bring up things, even in the beginning. See how it’s going to go. You would rather find out early on if they are a yeller or avoider. Then you can make a decision before you invest any more time in them.
We wish you the best of luck in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. It can be challenging yet very rewarding if you are aware of healthy habits from the start.
Tomorrow Joleen will give us 3 more tips. Thank you for reading. Have a great week.
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
Tags: FInding Mr or Mrs Right
Posted in Abandonment, boundaries, communication, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »
We are asked many times a week by singles about how to find a quality mate. Everyone is looking for Mr or Mrs Right to share their lives with, but the biggest challenge is finding him or her.
That’s why Imagine Hope is giving all our single readers some tips to help them on their search that could lead them to finding a quality person this week.
Tip #1- Be A Healthy and Complete Person and You will Attract One
I love the kid’s book by Shel Silverstein called “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O”. This book clearly shows the importance of today’s tip.
Take 3 Minutes to watch the animated version of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afsV8UmMqVw
Being a “Big O” means that you are a whole and complete person rolling through life without the need for someone to complete you. You don’t have any missing pieces for someone to fill.
Being whole and complete doesn’t mean you are perfect and without flaws. It is about managing your emotional issues, living a balanced life, and not being too needy for others, because you are able to meet your own needs well.
Of course it is great to have a companion in life, that is a normal human desire. But at times people can lean too much on others to complete them that they create an unhealthy relationship where the other person feels pressure and smothered to rescue their partner. It is healthier to “want” someone rather than “need” them.
If you are on the hunt for Mr or Mrs Right, it is good to get your emotional baggage resolved in order for you to be a “big O” in the relationship. It sure is attractive to see someone with their head on straight and managing their life well physically and emotionally. The healthier you are, the more likely you will attract someone who is too!
Keep reading all week for more tips! And work hard this week to be your healthiest you as you roll through life.
Written by Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC
Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW, LCAC is a licensed therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Teri enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, couples and relationship counseling. Teri also does family counseling, child counseling, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield.
Tags: FInding Mr or Mrs Right
Posted in Healthy Living, Love, Marriage, Premarital issues, Relationships, Relationships | No Comments »
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