Imagine Hope Counseling Group Blog
Inspiring Hope for Life & Relationships
Freedom #5: To take risks in one’s own behalf instead of choosing to be only “secure” and not rocking the boat.
We have all probably been in a situation where we’ve had something bothering us, but have been too afraid to bring it up or make a change because of how this confrontation might effect things.
How does this impact us? It keeps us in situations, relationships, jobs, or other things that cause us to feel stuck and unhappy.
Feeling a sense of freedom means taking the risk to take care of ourselves; to venture outside of our comfort zone and make changes that might “rock the boat” a little. It is confining to go along with things that feel “bad”, only to make sure that everyone else is “okay”, when we aren’t “okay” ourselves.
In counseling, we often use the saying that a large part of becoming a whole person is learning to be okay when other’s aren’t okay. This doesn’t mean that we walk all over other people or become heartless and uncaring. It simply means that we no longer choose to feel uncomfortable and silent, when we really need to speak up and take risks to take better care of ourselves. What risks do you need to take in your life to feel more freedom?
Adapted from Virginia Satire’s “The Five Freedoms”
Joleen Watson, MS, NCC, is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. She enjoys doing marriage counseling, relationship counseling, couples counseling, and individual counseling. Imagine Hope also specializes in family, child and adolescent counseling and serves Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield, and Fishers.
Tags: confrontation, The Five Freedoms, Virginia Satire
Posted in boundaries, Codependency, communication, Emotional needs, Healthy Living, Individual Therapy, Marriage, marriage counseling, Relationships | No Comments »
Freedom #4: To Ask for What One Wants Instead of Always Waiting For Permission
Many people struggle with telling people what they really want or need. They are afraid they will appear “needy” or not strong. Usually when someone grows up in a family where their needs were secondary or they were punished (emotionally or physically) for having needs, they grow up thinking they shouldn’t (there’s that word again!) have any needs.
Some people feel that other people should already know what they need. They say things like, “If I have to tell them what I need, they don’t really love me”. This is not true. We cannot read each other’s minds. It is important to tell people what you need or want, without expecting them to already know or read your mind.
It is also okay to have needs. As I mentioned, some people view themselves as weak if they have needs or wants. This is not true. It takes a strong, self-assured person to state what they need and what you can do to meet that need. It takes strength to know when we have had enough and need help from others.
You don’t have to wait for someone to tell you it is okay to need something. You don’t have to push someone to give you permission to ask for help. You have a right to have needs. It is freeing when you can actually state what you need and even better when the need is met because you stated your what it was!
So please don’t wait for permission to state what you need or want in a relationship. Let others know so they can have the gift of giving you what you need.
Thank you for reading and we hope you have a blessed day. Joleen will let us know the last freedom tomorrow.
Adapted from The Five Freedoms by Virginia Satir
Written by Natalie Chandler
Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC is a therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group. Natalie enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, and couples counseling. We also specialize in family counseling, child, and adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Westfield, and Zionsville
Tags: The Five Freedoms, Virginia Satire
Posted in Anxiety, boundaries, Codependency, communication, Family Issues, Relationships | No Comments »
Freedom #2: To Say What One Feels and Thinks Instead of What One Should Feel and Think
There’s that “Should” word again. Whenever you use the word “Should”, you’re placing judgement on something/yourself. “I Should feel this way” I Should think this way”…..basically you’re trying to talk yourself into CHANGING your feelings.
A healthier approach is to say what you truly think, and feel how you truly feel (without being rude! Just be honest).
Too many times we get wrapped up in how our feelings and thoughts are going to affect another person, if we’re going to disappoint someone, or if they’re going to get mad with us. As a result, we change or minimize our own feelings to fit what we think the other person(s) wants to hear.
What happens then? We feel horrible and as though no one ever “gets us” or respects us.
Maybe you grew up believing no one cared to hear what you had to say? Maybe you grew up believing you could make people feel better when you only shared good news, and not the bad news (even if the bad news was the truth)?
Just as we all have Constitutional Rights to vote, bear arms, and the freedom of speech, you have a God-given right to speak what you feel and think.
You don’t have to change what you say to be what you think you ought to say or feel.
Please come back to read more emotional Freedoms (Rights) we have, all developed by Virginia Satir. Thanks for reading!
Written by: Tamara Wilhelm MA, LMHC, LCAC
*Tamara enjoys doing marriage counseling, individual counseling, & couples counseling at Imagine Hope. We also specialize in family counseling, child & adolescent counseling. Imagine Hope serves the Indianapolis area, including the surrounding areas of Carmel, Noblesville, Zionsville, Westfield & Fishers.
Tags: The Five Freedoms, Virginia Satire
Posted in Anxiety, boundaries, Codependency, communication, coping skills, Family Issues, Healthy Living, Relationships | No Comments »
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